Ghosts Of My Own Making
by msmaj
Summary: Joey Potter returns to her childhood home with hopes of moving forward, but that may not be as easy as it seems.
1. Chapter 1

**No, I do not own anything related to Dawson's Creek, I am merely borrowing their likeness. This story is one of the most organic I have ever written, it just kinda comes naturally so I'm hoping it doesn't take too long to get where I want it to. As always, please let me know what you think :)**

He saw everyone who walked in, even between fetching patrons drinks and chatting with the regulars. Nights like this drew crowds of all types and Pacey Witter was not one to miss any new entrances to his bar. The band was loud, kitschy eighties regalia and all, but it always proved to be one of his biggest nights of the month. Especially when they happened to follow finals week. His dingy rock bar, Watson's, was nestled in the very center of a good ol' Collegetown, meaning that four universities called the relatively small city and its outlying suburbia home. Hundreds of exhausted and anxious students always found themselves in the middle of the bar when "Orchestral Human Ballet" was playing. Though it wasn't only collegiate who found themselves adorned in neon, many who sported feathered hair and acid wash when it was socially acceptable made their way into. Tonight seemed no different. He served, he smiled, he may have even flirted a little, but the truth be told, he was tried.

"Hey Pace, we're out of Hornito's!" Shelly called from the other end of the bar. Nodding, and checking for anything else he may need to grab, he turned and headed toward the back of the building. As he made his way, he paused, something catching him off guard, but he continued on as he saw his sister waving from the hallway of her own club. He continued forward, walking past her bouncer David, who was sat between where Watson's ended, and Boulevard technically began. No one was sure where exactly the legal separation was, but it worked perfectly for the siblings who declared the pool tables to be a natural boundary between a rock bar and a club.

"What's up sis?"

"Have I told you how much I LOVE your eighties night?" she beamed. He smiled back, shaking his head as he made his way to the basement store room. Boulevard was equally packed though its much younger crowd seemed far less riled than his mix. He looked around for his sister who was animatedly talking to two familiar buxom blondes, and instead of getting caught up in that he turned to walk back to his own bar, hands full of liquor and ran right into a body. A body that happened to be attached to the most beautiful pair of hazel eyes he had ever seen.

"Oh, my fuck! I am so sorry!" She stammered as his grip loosened on a bottle of Macallan 18 year. She deftly caught it and handed it back to him, before he even realized he'd nearly lost it.

"Nice reflexes." He said breathily.

"It's shocking, really, I'm not usually so agile." Her soft laughter fueled his growing smile. "I'd just never forgive myself for having caused that excellent scotch to hit the floor."

"Lady who knows her scotch, " he mused. "Looks like you'll be taking my heart with you tonight." She smiled shyly, biting her lip, her eyes locking with his cool, blue ones.

"I'd never be so lucky."

"Heh," he let out a throaty chuckle. "As much as I'm enjoying getting lost in your eyes, I should really get back." Motioning to his still full arms, she moved out of his path.

"Of course, " she replied. "I'm meeting some friends anyway. Um, maybe I can find you later?" His gaze followed her movements until their eyes met again.

"I'll be waiting." He winked, turned and sauntered away as her bottom lip found its way between her teeth once again.

"Jo!" The blonde to the left of Gretchen called out. Joey Potter tucked her ever loose hair behind her ears and moved toward her friends.

"Hey Jen, Audrey!" She beamed, hugging them each.

"Bunny! I mean, Joey!" Audrey laughed, apparently already drunk.

"Wait, Joey Potter?!" Gretchen surmised as recognition swept over her. Oh my, God, I haven't seen you since you were, what, ten?"

"Gretchen Witter?! Holy shit!" They hugged tightly, they had been relatively close as kids but, like everyone, had lost touch.

"See, I told you it was a surprise," Jen said wryly.

"I take it you didn't recognize my infuriating younger brother then?" As Joey's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, the reality struck her like a bolt.

"That wasn't….it couldn't have…Did I just hit on Pacey?" The girls tried, but failed to choke back their laughter as Joey turned a furious shade of red.

"Looks like you need a drink, girlie!" Audrey cooed. Gretchen and Jen nodded in agreement as Joey swallowed down the last of her pride.

"Got any of that Macallan back there?"

"Alas, no. For the good scotches and whiskeys, one must cross the battle lines and head into Watson's." She winked as Joey groaned.

"Fine, two shots of Fireball. Then we can go party like it's 1999, er, 1985."

"Yesssss! I need to dance woman! These shoes are not intended for standing." Audrey whined.

"Aud, those shoes were meant to do only one thing, and it's neither dance nor stand."

"And what, pre-tell, could they be for Miss Lindley?"

"Those are 'fuck me' shoes," Jen smirked but hushed her tone as she noticed Audrey's pointed look. "And I have a feeling your intended target will be even more disinterested tonight." Joey finished her shots, not noting what Jen and Audrey had been discussing, and turned to Gretchen.

"It was really good to see you, I'll be in town…probably a long while, I'd really love to catch up."

"I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot of each other, Jo. Have fun!" With a small wave goodbye, she found herself racing to catch up with Jen and Audrey, who had positioned themselves in the very center of the dancefloor, directly in front of the stage, with empty glasses. She shook her head as she neared them.

"Refills ladies?" They both nodded enthusiastically as Joey took their glasses. "Kamikazes, right?" Jen nodded in reply, to the staccato beat of the synthesizer, causing Joey's eyes to roll despite herself. As she made her way to the bar, she saw him again and couldn't understand how she didn't recognize him. Sure, he was older, it had been nearly 12 years since he was a daily annoyance in her life, and it was a good six years since they'd last seen each other in person, but he was still unmistakably Pacey. She sighed, her mind fleeting back to her last day living just up the street.

 _"So, I guess this is goodbye," Jen said, her eyes misty with unshed tears. " I'll miss you so much Joey, you're my best friend." Joey and Jen hugged tightly, neither wanting to let the other see them cry. They were too strong for that._

 _"I'll miss you too, Jenny, so so much." She stepped out of Jen's embrace, and right into Dawson's arms, who was openly weeping._

 _"Movie night will never be the same." He sniffled. "I love you Josephine, please don't leave me!" Joey kept her arms loosely around Dawson's neck while rolling her eyes at his latest proclaimation of love. Jen snorted in laughter, but coughed quickly to cover for her friend._

 _"I'll miss you too Dawson. Is it okay if I have a minute before I have to go, I just want to take it all in one last time." Jen and Dawson nodded, turning their backs on Joey as she went and sat at the end of the pier. It was the last time she would see the sunset on the lake. She tried to paint the image in her mind, the brilliant orange hues of the dipping sun, the grey-blue water of the glass like lake surface, the light mist of the waves as they lapped against the dock. She knew she'd be seeing sunsets on the ocean now, but there was something so lovely and peaceful about knowing this mass expanse of water was fully surrounded by land that she couldn't see. The tears began flowing freely, the light fading by the minute, trying to allow the scent and sound to envelope her when a strong arm wrapped around her shoulders and held her close. When she finally looked up at him their eyes met in a sad smile._

 _"Thanks Pace. I'm really gonna miss it here." He pulled her even closer as he felt the sobs wrack her small frame._

 _"Yeah, but now you'll get to live by the ocean. And near Boston, you'll have the world at your fingertips. You also won't be forced to swim in this smelly, seaweed infested lake anymore." They laughed._

 _"I was mostly referring to the people."_

 _"Ah yes. Jen will be sad, Dawson, inconsolable. He'll probably cry for weeks you know. I might just have to drown him."_

 _"As long as you don't let him call me and cry. I swear, he has the whiniest voice I have ever heard."_

 _"Oh, of course, leave him to Pacey. Not even middle school yet and you're leaving a trail of broken hearts in your wake." She elbowed him in the ribs playfully._

 _"Dawson's heart breaks every other day, mostly for fictional characters, you can hardly call that one heart a trail." She rolled her eyes at him but not before noticing something flash across his eyes._

 _"Maybe his isn't the only broken heart you'll be leaving behind." His voice a whisper, she'd realized too late what he meant and before she could think to respond, he'd leaned over and placed a sweet kiss on her lips. There they sat, neither moving or knowing what to do next, just savoring this moment before she headed east and left him in the dust._

 _"Let's move it Josephine! Mom and Dad will have my as if we make them any later!" Bessie yelled docks. Joey and Pacey quickly broke apart and stood up._

 _"If she gives you a hard time, just tell her you know what she was doing, too." Joey looked at him quizzically. "Let's just say it involves a certain older brother of mine…and a whole lot more tongue than what we just did." Joey blushed as her mouth lifted into half a smile, noting the information and tucking it away for future reference._

 _"I guess this is goodbye then. Don't go doing anything stupid , like becoming a nice guy, or a decent human being for that matter."_

 _"Oh, don't you fret, I'll never do anything that could actually make you like me." He winked._

 _"It could never happen. To me, you'll always be a cake eater." It was him rolling his eyes this time, but before he knew it, she'd thrown her arms around his neck and hugged him as tightly as she could. "I'll miss you most." She whispered as he returned the intensity of her hug. When she turned away, she all but sprinted towards her sister, tears freely flowing down her cheeks, and if she'd have looked back, she would have seen his as well._

As she approached the bar, she tried to shake the memories from her mind, knowing if she wore those same emotions on her face he'd know who she was in an instant, and she was looking to having a little bit of fun at his ignorance. She set the empty glasses on the bar, directly in front of where he stood, but he never fully looked at her.

"Two kamikazes, please…and a glass of that Macallan that I saved from becoming an insanely expensive puddle." He smirked as he noted her order, turned towards her, clearing the empties away so he could lean closer.

"And how would you like that?"

"Two fingers. Straight up. And hurry with those kamikazes, when my friends are made to wait, they can be quite the nightmare." He nodded, though he was already pouring the drinks, he scanned the crowd to see if he could place who she was with. There were a few people he didn't fully recognize in the bar that night, but he could not see this gorgeous creature being in their mix. When his eyes settled on Jen and Audrey, she was sure her cover was blown, but he shook his head and turned back to face her.

"A lady who even knows how to properly order scotch. Color me very impressed." He sat the glass in front of her, wanting to see if she would make the stereotypical 'whiskey face', but instead, the 18 year single malt seemed to be as mild to her as water. He desperately held on to his self control because all he wanted to do was reach across the bar and kiss her like she'd never been kissed before.

"Mmm, that is delicious." She pulled money from her back pocket when something started to stir in Pacey's mind. A certain intonation maybe, how she had turned her body, or perhaps, the very timbre of her voice was reverberating through his head, and for the life of him, he couldn't place it.

"Keep the change," she said through a crooked smile, half turned away she called back to him. "I'm glad I didn't break it this time, Pace." With that, she disappeared into the crowd, and he was left dumbfounded, his brain, and body, in overdrive. There was something terribly familiar about the last thing she'd said, she even called him 'Pace', and though who she was still eluded him, buy did she get inside his head.

"Geez! Took you long enough!" Audrey exclaimed, snatching her drink from Joey's hands and drinking down half of it without a breath.

"You and Pacey catch up" Jen asked, sipping her drink much more slowly.

"No, actually, he's still completely oblivious, though probably at least a little intrigued."

"Maybe you didn't have the effect on him you thought you did." Slurred Audrey, loudly.

"Or maybe it's because you look NOTHING like little Joey Potter anymore." Jen said matter of factly. She wasn't wrong. Joey's hair was now a deep, chocolate brown, streaked with blue and purple, and her makeup was definitely on the bolder end of the spectrum. She was dressed in dark blue skinny jeans and an old, off the shoulder, CBGB crop top which showed her nicely toned abs, but could definitely be construed on the conservative side considering her present company. Especially since she opted for her trusty Chucks rather than Jen and Audrey's penchant 'fuck me' shoes.

"Gretchen recognized her right away." Audrey reminded them.

"Yeah, but she knew we were bringing someone, so it wasn't a complete surprise. Pacey has zero clue that who he hopes to be his new paramour, is actually his very first crush." Joey blushed crimson as Audrey let out a frustrated sigh.

"Fine, but I'm not waiting around all night for them to rediscover each other. There's much partying to do…school is out…forever!" The girls toasted to the night, though neither had the heart to tell Audrey that while she may be done now, Jen had grad school to look forward to, and Joey had two internships this summer, before her graduate classes started. But there was still time to get into some trouble.

"Ladies, what say we take this party upstairs?" Jen suggested, pulling a joint from her bag.

"Yes!" Audrey danced a small circle around them, and started walking towards the bathroom stairs, Jen and Joey following behind.

"You have no idea how badly I need that, Lindley."

"Au contraire, Potter, I still know you too well. I can practically see Pacey running through your thoughts. Let's go clear your mind." She linked her arm in Joey's and led her up the narrow staircase to Watson's ladies room. Very few people trek up the stairs, they'd rather head into Boulevard for lavatory purposes then deal with their ridiculously high heels on the short, steep staircase.

"Wait, we're doing this in the bathroom? In Pacey's bar?" Joey was skeptical. She was hardly a novice, but she had always erred on the side of discretion. Jen pushed the door open, and made a very sharp right into a small room off the main bath.

"This is the band dressing room, and as they are…."Safety Dancing" at the moment, we have plenty of time to imbibe."

"That looks like trouble." Shelly mused. Pacey looked at her questioningly. "Jen and Audrey just took that girl upstairs."

"What girl?"

"The one you've been looking for since she walked away from the bar."

"Wait, she's with Lindley?" The cogs of Pacey's mind were spinning furiously. Shelly looked amused, and then continued.

"Yeah, when I talked to Gretch, she said something about an old friend having moved home, or something."

"Fuck. Me." His eyes darted up the stairs. Everything stopped. His mind from working, words from coming out, the world spinning. Joey Potter was back, and he couldn't even remember how to breathe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Again, I do not own, simply borrowing. I wish everything came as easily as this :) Let me know what you're thinking!**

"We should probably head back. It sounds pretty quiet out there." Jen stated. The music had stopped and the band would surely be up there to change soon enough. It was also nearing two a.m., and she was exhausted. The women began to make their way back to the bar, stopping into the actual bathroom first, before being greeted by an imposing figure at the bottom of the steps.

"Ladies," the figure spoke, knowingly shaking its daunting head from side to side, "what exactly were you doing up there? I have a feeling I may not particularly like the answer to this question, but I suppose I have to ask it anyway."

"Pacey," Jen started, but Audrey began laughing while Joey looked on, refusing to meet his eyes. "I refuse to explain to you what nefarious activities we may or may not have partaken in. We are adults and Audrey and I have done that many, many, many times before. Which you were not only privy to but had also partook." He sighed audibly.

"You and Liddell I expect this behavior from, but Joey Potter…" He didn't have a chance to finish his sentence before her arms were wrapped around his neck, nearly choking him with affection.

"You remember me!" She gushed. She pulled her arms from his neck and took his face in her hands. For the first time, he was truly struck by not only who she was, but by how beautiful she had become. Her features were more refined, more feminine than he remembered, he noticed tattoos peeking out from her sleeves, on her stomach, and couldn't help but wonder what stories her skin told.

"Potter, I may be dense, and slow apparently, but I could never forget you." He said huskily, as he pulled her back towards him for another hug.

"Ahem," Jen cleared her throat. "As much as I dislike breaking up the reunion I have been waiting all night to see, years really, I mean…"

"What Jen means," Audrey interjected, "is that it's been a long day, week, actually! And we're going home. And Joey is coming with us." Though not in Pacey's embrace, Joey was still pressed against his side and looked between Jen and Audrey quizzically.

"I have to get back…"

"There is no way you're driving back to Nita's this late, you've been drinking amongst other things, tonight you crash with us. Nita will be fine tonight."

"Nita? Is that why you're up here?" Joey nodded, her eyes meeting Pacey's again. "Is she okay?" Joey smiled, her heart fluttering a little.

"That's up for debate. But that story is far too long for tonight. And since my chaperones seem to think my brain cannot properly function anymore tonight, I suppose we must wait to catch up properly." He smirked, but nodded in agreement and removed his phone from his pocket.

"Why don't you give me your number, and maybe we can get together sometime this week."

"I'd really like that. And you know, I was right Pace." She said after putting her number in his phone and stepping next to him.

"About what?"

"I missed you most." She whispered in his ear, kissed his cheek and turned away, chasing after her friends again. She didn't look back, she couldn't. Joey had to keep moving away from him lest she threw him down to have her way with him on the pool table. There was a feeling she couldn't quite place, like a pulsation emanating from her very core, and she was certain it didn't come from anything she may have ingested, but from him. It was how, once he realized who she was, of course, his eyes seem to drink in everything about her, how every time they touched her skin would tingle, how the very sound of his voice could ignite her mind to want to be a part of him in every way.

"Whoa Potter," she thought. "You need to get yourself under control. The fuck is wrong with you!" Her mental berating lasted the entire walk back to Jen and Audrey's, it's also what prevented her from falling asleep that night and woke her earlier than she intended.

"Nita? Are you up?" Joey called as she pushed open the heavy wooden door of her Grand Aunt Anita's farm house. The house was situated on a precipice overlooking the lake at the north, the south of the property was wooded, save for the driveway, but the east side was covered in orchards and the west in vineyards. Joey's mother's family had settled along the shore generations before and had built the home she was standing in, her Nita, as she was affectionately known, was the last living maternal relative Bessie and Joey had.

"It's nearly eight! Of course I'm up Josephine, I have been for nearly three hours now. The youth of today, I tell ya." Nita yelled from the kitchen, and Joey knew if she could see Nita, her eyes would have been rolling. Joey sighed and made her way to the back of the quaint house. Nita was elbow deep in flour, rolling pie crusts out on every available surface of the kitchen.

"Um, are we having a feast tonight?" Joey said fingering a jar of Nita's specialty pie filling though she wasn't one hundred percent sure what kind of fruit it had formerly been.

"Well, not, um, no not exactly…" Nita stammered, gingerly smoothing her crust into her favorite vintage Fiesta pie pan. She smiled to herself as she trimmed away the excess, the conversation with her niece forgotten as she scooped Joey's mystery fruit into the dish.

"Nita? Niiittaaa?" With her concentration broken she turned her head to Joey.

"What is it you want? Shouldn't you be in bed, or somewhere else that isn't here?" Leveling her pie she started meticulously laying her lattice top.

"The pies Nita? What are all the pies for?" The old woman sighed loudly and narrowed her eyes on Joey.

"It just so happens that an old friend is stopping by for dinner tonight…"

"It's a grape pie! That is reserved for the most special company, you didn't even make one when I came home." Joey retorted.

"Fine, Nosy, if you must know Mr. Connaroe is coming over."

"And what, you're trying to impress him? This is like, six pies worth of crust Nita." "Well Miss Josephine, baking is what I do best, and maybe I would just like to impress him. Grape pie is my personal best, after all, I just hope he appreciates the effort." She turned away from Joey and back to her pies. "Unlike Mr. MacWhirter, lousy, no good…"

"Well, I guess I'll just go clean up and get out of your hair for the day. Unless there's anything else you need from me today."

"Oh yes, today Joey, I will need your lawn maintenance expertise, as well as helping me prepare dinner…then, you be a peach and make yourself scarce." She winked. Joey walked to the back door, preparing herself for some intense manual labor when she felt her backside emit a slight vibration. She pulled the phone from her back pocket and saw that she had a text, from a number she didn't recognize.

"There's no way…." She thought. Then she read it.

 _'Good morning, Potter. I realize that we said sometime this week, but it dawned on me that I have already waited long enough to catch up. So what do you say, tonight, you and me, dinner?'_

 _'Oh, this is Pacey, by the way. I mean, in case you didn't realize it…'_

 _'Can one ramble in a text? I feel a bit ramblish…Anyway, let me know. :)'_

She couldn't help but smile, giggle to herself and blush, profusely. Nita looked up and tried not to acknowledge her favorite niece's rampant change in demeanor, but curiosity got the best of her.

"Aren't you mowing my lawn? Or are you planning on staring on that box, laughing to yourself." Joey was furiously texting back as Nita cleared her throat, waiting on her response. Joey could actually hear her foot tapping anxiously against the linoleum.

"Don't worry Nita, I'll do my chores first. Then, I'm gone, I won't put a damper on your date night." She kissed Nita on the cheek and made her way out towards the shed, phone in hand, trying to suppress the grin that continued to grow on her face every time he sent her a text.

No matter what Joey did to keep herself busy between then and when she was meeting Pacey, the time never seemed to pass. She mowed, edged, trimmed, checked a couple of the steps that led down to the beach, finished dinner and cleaned the kitchen while Nita napped. And it was only two-thirty. After showering she sat on her bed, pondering if she should take a nap, but decided against it. She still had to get ready, and while she had three hours before she needed to leave, she was at a loss for what to wear. Was it strictly friendly? Was it a date? Was it that awkward place in between where you want your friend to see you as more? Ding ding.

"Uuughhhh!" She groaned dialing the familiar number that would lead her to the best advice on the subject. There was of course no answer from Jen or Audrey which meant calling in the reserves.

"Hey Jo! How's Nita? Is it even warm up there yet? It's balmy as hell here."

"Hi Bess, Nita is fine, she has a gentleman caller coming over tonight…"

"What?! Are you planning on being there, you know, ensuring she makes good choices and all?" Bessie snickered.

"No, at her insistence, I am to make myself scarce tonight. Which is why I'm calling you. I need your help with something."

"Sure Jo, what do you need?"

"I'm kinda, sorta, going out with Pacey tonight…"

"PACEY WITTER!? Your former nemesis but first crush? When did this come about?"

"Jen and Audrey dragged me to an eighties night last night, which happened to be held at his bar. We quite literally ran into each other, but had no idea who the other was, and when Gretchen informed me, it was too late. Pacey Witter is a full blown, dream." She stuttered, she couldn't believe she was admitting that, to her sister of all people. When Bessie had found out Pacey kissed Joey when they left, she never let her live it down. To this day she'd ask Joey if all other kisses compared.

"So what's the what? If you're already going out with him, what's with the self-imposed existential crisis?"

"I don't know what to wear," Joey whined meekly.

"Shouldn't Jen or Audrey be helping you with this? I have a six year old, date attire is hardly my thing."

"First of all, I tried them, they didn't answer. Secondly, that's my point. This isn't necessarily a date, but I think it's more than just friendly catch-up. I don't know. I'm at a loss." She was tossing everything from her closet onto her bed, completely unsure of what she was looking for. Her dresses all seemed too black, too low cut, too short, while the rest of her wardrobe screamed comfy.

"Well Jo, looks like a dilemma. I would wear jeans, but probably with heels." Joey took inventory of her shoes and noticed a particular pair that would do nicely with a pair of dark jeans, and the right top.

"Okay, but what about a shirt? To answer one of your first questions, no, it is not warm. It's not particularly cold, but it is decidedly not warm either."

"Hmm, do you have anything long sleeved that isn't a frumpy sweater or a hoodie?"

"I do have one thing." She pulled the Kelly green shirt from the closet, it had a high neckline in the front but the back cowl came to the middle of her back. "Thanks Bess! I have to hurry now, I only have like, an hour to finish getting ready!"

"Wait, Jo, before you go…" She paused. "Curl your hair that forties style you like to do. If you're trying to get him past friend, that's your easiest route." Joey nodded to herself as she laid the outfit on the bed.

"I appreciate it Bess. Give my love to Bodie and Alex! Love you!" With that she turned fixing her hair and make-up, trying to calm her ever increasing nerves.

"Joey could you get the door?" Nita yelled from the kitchen, putting the final touches on the feast she'd prepared. Joey, who had just finished getting ready herself, made her way to the front door.

"Hey Mr. Con…Pacey, what are you doing here?" He smiled nervously, holding a small bouquet of flowers in his hands, his eyes never leaving Joeys.

"Uh well, I wanted to see Nita, assure her you were in good hands, I mean, I doubt her memories of me are all together positive." His voice wavered, he couldn't believe how nervous he was, it was just Joey, and they were just going to dinner. "You look stunning by the way." Joey couldn't get over how much he made her blush, she was certain in all twenty-two years of existence she had never blushed as much as she did in the past 24 hours. She moved out of his way, gesturing for him to enter.

"You don't look half bad yourself, Witter." He looked edible, she thought. His dark blue jeans and light turquoise sweater, which hung in all the right places, were giving her very naughty thoughts. Her bottom lip was constantly fighting to free itself from her teeth, but she reminded herself that if it stayed there, she would be less likely to say or do something stupid.

"I would say these are for you, but," she cut him off, motioning for him to follow her toward the kitchen.

"Joey, please tell Mr. Connaroe I will be right out."

"I would if he were here Nita."

"Now I know I heard that doorbell Josephine."

"How come she gets to call you Josephine without the threat of bodily harm?"

"Because she's my favorite person on the planet." She retorted.

"My stars. Pacey Witter!" Nita recognized him immediately, though she hadn't seen him since he was a boy. "Get over here boy and give Nita a hug!" He did as he was bid and presented her with the flowers, causing a blush to sweep her features as well.

"How are you Miss Anita?"

"Miss Anita? Heavens boy, you called me Nita as a child, don't go changing. Your snark is what made me like you most, well, almost." She winked at Joey, who was savoring the exchange between them.

"Fine then, how is the evening finding you Nita?" He beamed at her, his eyes were light, smile brightening his already gorgeous features.

"It'll be better once Roger gets here. I need to eat. I think I'm bordering on….oh what's it you kids call it…" They looked at one another perplexed. "Ah. Hangry! That's it. I mean, you give someone a time and you expect them to come around it." She paused. "Weren't you supposed to be meeting somewhere?"

"That's what I thought, too." Joey interjected, locking her eyes to Pacey's, confusion but happiness instilled in her features.

"That was the original intention, yes, however, I never miss an opportunity to grace two beautiful women with my presence. So I figured, for my own benefit, I would come here and allow you the chance to see that your precious Josephine, is in good hands. The best, actually." He winked at Nita, knowing the woman would squash him like a bug if he ever even looked at Joey sideways. He did not expect the flick that came from Joey, however. "Ow woman, what was that for?"

"I told you, only my favorite people can call me that, and even then it's iffy. You sir, while regarded very highly, don't quite rate yet."

"You keep doing what you're doing sonny and you'll be there in no time," it was Nita's turn to wink at Pacey, the doorbell ringing again. "Finally! Now you kids shoo and have a good time."

"It was good to see you Nita, I'll have her home at a respectable time." Pacey offered his arm to Joey who willingly entwined hers, her lips curving into a flirtatious smile.

"She is a grown woman, who makes her own choices. The time she comes home is up to her…I won't be waiting up. By the looks of you two I wouldn't get any sleep if I did."

"Nita!" Joey reprimanded as Pacey blanched. They both looked awkwardly at the other, trying to slow their respective pounding hearts. Nita smirked and shooed them out the door, past a bewildered Roger Connaroe.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do Josephine!" She called from the porch as Pacey opened Joey's door, all she could do was plead with her eyes to please stop talking.

"And what exactly won't you do, Miss Tredway?" Roger whispered in her ear.

"Come inside and find out, won't you Mr. Connaroe?" They closed the door behind them and Joey realized maybe she didn't want to come home later, and it might be more to do with what was going to be happening behind that door.

"So, your Nita hasn't changed." Joey let out a relieved laugh as Pacey's grin widened.

"Hah, that is an understatement. Where are we off to?" Pacey turned out of the driveway and off towards their destination. "And how did you remember where Nita lived?"

"Well it's funny, I could remember just about everything about this place. When I pulled up I was actually surprised how well it matched up, but I had no idea how to get here. That's where Jen came in."

"That makes sense. Well thank you, I'm glad you picked me up, it'll give us more time to catch up." She smiled, her tongue peeking from between her teeth. He looked over at her briefly, taking in her beauty in the fading light. This is always how she appeared in his memories, and it was completely surreal that she was there now, in his car, on a date. Was it a date, or was it now that he picked her up? What if she didn't think it was? He did not think this through. He wanted it to be a date, but he still had no idea how long she was going to be in town, or why she had even come back. He had tried to ask Jen but she'd insisted that it was not her place to tell. Pacey noticed her hands anxiously playing with one another and finally felt a modicum of relief. At least she was as nervous as he was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Again, they're not mine. Simply borrowing. Now, this is shorter, but it serves its purpose. Again, as always, review and thanks to those who do!**

"Pacey, this is beautiful." Joey had wondered where he was planning on taking her, especially after crossing the state line. He had made his way to a small hamlet, whose only attraction was this wine bar, overlooking the lake, where people apparently flocked to from all over. She wasn't certain, but the number of cars in the parking lot were probably double the town's actual populace.

"Well, if I'm going to walk in with you on my arm, the setting has to equal my company, wouldn't you say?" She smiled as he pulled her chair out for her and took her seat.

"You're really something, you know that?" He nodded and laughed.

"I suppose I have heard that a time or two." The waiter had come over and Pacey proceeded to order a bottle of the house wine, red at Joey's insistence, leaving an awkward pause in its wake.

"So, how the hell did you end up back here," Pacey finally asked. "Last I knew you were in Boston."

"I was. Right before Christmas, Bess and I got a call from Nita's doctor," She steadied her breathing and looked directly into Pacey's eyes, feeding on the support they shone. "Apparently she is in the early stages of dementia. Most of the time you'd never know, I mean, she's physically as fit, or more, than people even our age, but…it's starting to get worse. They wanted to put her in a home, something assisted…I bet you can imagine how well that went over." He reached across the table and took her hand in his, squeezing it gently.

"I take it Nita didn't take too kindly to that suggestion." She laughed, probably louder than she intended, but she felt so comfortable with him it didn't even seem to register.

"Oh, yeah. I mean, she absolutely loved the idea of being dotted upon." Pacey raised a skeptical brow. "Just not by persons unknown."

"So that's how you got suckered back to our festering little metropolis?" She shrugged. Though at first she didn't like the idea of leaving school in her final year, after speaking with her advisors, and securing not only one, but two internships, she caught hold of the new direction her life was moving and for the first time, she swam with the current. And now here she was, eating dinner, on a quasi-date, with the first boy who had ever kissed her. The first, and last boy, to ever give her butterflies.

"I don't know. I missed it so much when I moved to Capeside. I mean, I thought this place was Podunk…but you saw Capeside, it had two horses less…among other things. And while Bessie fell in love with its quaintness, I was suffocating….and in Boston I was drowning. This may actually be just the place I need in my life." He noticed that he loved watching her talk. Every gesticulation seemed directly to correspond with a feeling, he knew that if he was with her long enough, he would know everything she ever meant just by watching her hands. Her eyes didn't convey as much as they used to, he thought, but it had also been nearly six years since they'd seen each other or spoken. There was still a shimmer to them, they were wholly captivating, and he wanted to know everything that went on behind them. He also knew it was crazy for these thoughts to be running through his head, but he couldn't help but feel something towards her. Like some strange gravitational vortex and he was losing his footing.

"So, tell me, Mr. Witter, how did you end up with a bar?" Her lips closed around the edge of her glass, letting the wine slip past her lips, as her eyes connected with his again. They burned like fire, filling her with feelings she long tried to push down. No one had ever affected her, she didn't let them, it was easy not to get hurt if you never let yourself feel she postulated. But now, sitting here, across from him, her resolve was crumbling.

"Ah, yes, well." He stumbled over his words, a particularly un-Pacey like event, and shook his head to regain his composure. "It had to have been, sophomore year, Mom and Dad went to Atlantic City and hit big. They came back, three months later, the exact opposite what they left. They'd both quit their jobs, bought a beach house in Jersey…"

"Wait, three months? You were still in high school!"

"Well, the lovely inhabitants of Casa Leery took pity on the poor miscreant whose family all but abandoned him."

"Of course. I bet that just raised the level of Gale and Mitch's parental perfection to a million?"

"Well, frauline, that is a story for another night." He said laughing to himself. "Anyway, my parents came back, and after a verbal lashing from said Leerys, Dougie, Carrie, Staci, Gretchen and I were given the news. It turned out they were able to procure, two, distinct properties downtown. They would be ours, conditionally of course." It was Joey's turned to be confused though she just nodded.

"And the conditions?" He smiled, the smile that started in the corners of his mouth, could be traced up his defined cheekbones and be found resting in his eyes.

"A college degree." She returned his smile, and for a second, he thought he saw something more dancing behind her eyes.

"See, and you were always worried about becoming nothing. A college graduate and a business owner, I am mighty impressed Pace." He turned just the faintest shade of pink. "Wait, how have you already graduated?" She shook her head when she realized how that must have sounded coming out. "I mean, we're the same age is all, and you know…"

"I took all the extra classes and summer sessions I could." He stated. "No one, not my parents, Doug, Car, Stac, hell even Dawson, thought I could pull it off. Gretchen was about half way through her business administration degree and had thought of dropping out when she said she only wanted the bar if I had the other. We knew the other three had no interest. I mean, Doug had been to college already, but he loved being a trooper. He wasn't giving that up for smoky nights surrounded by loud music and drunken fools." He winked at her, making her blush. "I worked my ass off, Jo, I finished high school in the top 20, have my degree in accounting, I'm technically a C.P.A. but don't let that information get around to too many people. I have a reputation to uphold."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of defaming your reputation, Witter. I'm sure certain rumors I heard about a certain English teacher couldn't have possibly been true." Joey noticed Pacey turn a particular shade of pale, and couldn't help but feel a little badly. "Pace, I've known about that for a very, very long time, and it has never once influenced my opinion of you." It was her reaching across the table now and taking his hand, but she didn't pull hers away after a moment like he had and he took the lead, lacing his fingers with hers.

They ate their dinner in companionable silence, holding hands, stealing longing glances when the other wasn't looking. Joey thought he was so quiet because he was trying to find a way to let her know that he just wanted to be her friend that he wasn't looking for anything, because she hadn't been either. She never looked for anything, she couldn't believe she'd let herself feel anything at all, especially since it had been a whole 24 hours. She knew that wasn't entirely true, but she couldn't get past the fact that he had successfully gotten closer to her in that time than she allowed anyone else in her entire life. Meanwhile, Pacey was terrified she was just going to breeze right back out of his life, as casually as she came, without looking back. Neither seemed to realize, however, the more they thought about the other leaving, the tighter their hands seemed to grasp.

"I had a really nice time tonight, Pacey." Joey said as they approached the house. They'd already made plans for lunch on Tuesday, which was far too long in either of their minds, but neither wanted the other to know how eager they were to spend time together.

"Me too, Potter." He pulled her hand, which was still entwined with his up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on her knuckles. The inside of her lip was raw already, trying to fight the temptation of feeling his lips on hers. Normally she would just do it, and then walk away, completely unaffected, but the fact her heart had fluttered from his lips touching her hand meant it would surely leap out of her chest and straight into his hands if they were to kiss. No, she had to have some semblance of control, especially if she wanted this to go anywhere, and boy did she.

"I guess I had better face the inquisition." She muttered.

"I thought Nita said…." Joey laughed and shook her head.

"Oh, not Nita. She'll grill me in the morning, but she's sound asleep. I meant one, Miss Jennifer Lindley." He raised his brows knowingly, when he got home he'd surely have to play twenty questions with his roommate about what had happened. He shuddered inwardly, not wanting to physically have that conversation with them just yet.

"Why is it you only stayed in contact with Jen? I mean, after that summer…" He trailed off. She wasn't ready for that though she had to admit she was surprised it wasn't the first thing he asked.

"Jen's always been my best friend," She said nonchalantly. "The rest, well, I don't know if we're ready for that conversation." Joey did not want to rehash all those feelings, especially since everything had been going so well. It was like the weight had just dissipated, though now, she supposed, it had only taken a new shape and would linger over their heads just like a cloud until the deluge was released.

"But we will have that conversation, right?" His eyes met her veiled ones, the light trying desperately to shine hope from behind the haze. "Because Jo, I need to know…"

"Pacey," she stopped him, her voice barely above a whisper. "I promise you we will have that conversation. But can we just leave tonight like it is?"

"And what is it?"

"Perfect." And before she knew what she was doing, she'd leaned across the seat and brought her hand to his face, running her thumb across his lips before she placed hers on them. In an instant, all their fears and doubts were momentarily alleviated, as his hand tangled in her hair and brought her mouth crushing against his. They'd finally disentangled themselves when they remembered the importance of breathing.

"So perfect, huh?" He mused cockily against her neck. She laughed and pulled away.

"Until you spoke, yes." She said playfully punching his shoulder.

"Oh, you wound me, Josephine." She reared back to hit him again, instead he caught her hand and pulled her flush against him. "Now how can I punish you?" He said huskily. They both knew if she didn't get out of the car the night would take a very different turn, and neither were quite ready for that change in dynamic just yet. She kissed him again, more gently this time, perhaps less urgently too.

"Tuesday?" He sighed and nodded as she made her way from the car.

"Tuesday. Night, Potter."


	4. Chapter 4

Once again, this is merely for entertainment purposes, the characters are not mine, etc, etc... Oh, and to Brand New's "Okay I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't", from whom I borrowed just a smidgen. Thank you Yana, your reviews mean a great deal! I'll continue writing no matter what, hopefully even a little more regularly now.

The feel of his lips still lingered on hers, his scent was all over, what was now, her new favorite shirt. She almost didn't feel right about changing, wanting to keep at least a part of him close to her through the night. Sighing, she opened her window and stepped out onto the roof. It was nights like these, when the moon hung so prominently in the sky, the stars illuminating the world, the waves crashing against the beach that she truly felt at home. The past few months had been a whirlwind of emotion and Joey was never sure if the choices she had made would be worth the sacrifice. She had become so comfortable in Boston, knowing the exact path she wanted her life to take, never making connections or emotional decisions, living her life by the prescribed collegiate handbook she had been told would allow her the best chances. But all of those scholastic opportunities left her feeling more and more a shell of what she was.

She retrieved the small glass pipe from beside her and took a long, deep drag before her thoughts overwhelmed her again. She thought about calling Jen, or maybe even her best friend from Capeside, Tilly, but she couldn't, not yet. The smoke she exhaled swirled around her, hazily obstructing her thought process. Isn't that what she wanted though? To stop thinking? Perhaps not, she mused, shaking her head and laying back against the cool rubber roof.

'Maybe I'm just not thinking about the right things.' She let her mind wander back to her dinner with Pacey. He seemed so impressed that she had chosen architecture as her field of study. She had loved it, being able to visit Boston in her youth she had fallen in love with the varying styles of buildings and all the history they imbued. Art had always been her passion, but after her mother's passing she could feel its tenuous hold slipping. It seemed school had been her saving grace, allowing her to practice more practical arts without feeling too emotionally involved, it's where she discovered her love of the structural artistry that dominated the skylines. Alas, that feeling, too, had been fleeting. For a while it seemed to quell the artist in her, but the older she got the less fulfilling the blueprints seemed to be.

The latter part of her high school years were filled with shows, allowing music to try and fill the holes in her heart. After the debacle that was her summer before junior year, she buried her emotions deep and only let them out on dark nights like this, when she was alone under the stars. She exhaled a shaky breath and held the pipe to her lips again. Maybe she could be done with this, too, at least as her crutch. The loss of her mother, the incarceration of her father, the fact she was at least an emotional burden on her sister, her last visit to the place that would always be home, she had turned her loneliness into a shield and held on for dear life as she tried to navigate moving on with her life.

Her mind drifted back to Tilly, how it took so long for Joey to open up to her, how she had tried to show her the world that was always just outside of Joey's reach. She introduced her to music, and not just the act of listening, but of being a part of it. They would go up to Boston once or twice a week sometimes, just taking in shows, becoming part of the scene, allowing the thrumming guitars and heady lyrics to take over their own thought processes for a while. It was also Tilly's brother, Roger, who removed her shield, both literally and figuratively. The thought that someone in this world could be interested in her caused her emotional defenses to crumble, and one cool, spring night, not too different than this, she gave him her heart. Only to have it come back the next day. Return to sender. It meant nothing, a fleeting experience in a sea of detachment. So she had lost her shield, only to replace it with much heavier armor.

Joey sat up, wrapping her arms around herself trying to choke back the tears. She hadn't cried for that girl in many years, but just being in Pacey's presence made her wonder even more who she might have been if she had stayed. She knew for certain she wouldn't have gotten that first tattoo, the one that lead her down a new path of expression. She had fallen in love with sound of the gun, the absolute precision of the art, how every last stipple and line were moments preserved in time. While her clichéd stitched heart was the first, it would not be the last, and while at the time she thought each one of those stitches would bear Roger's name, she realized now each one was reserved for someone different. He barely even registered. He was also not her last, but she'd never allowed emotions to come into play again. Before coming home she had wondered if that armor she had put in place so long ago was actually tattooed on as well. She did have a piece put on before she had left Boston, hoping she'd have no more to add as she traveled home. Absently she rubbed the small semblance of plate armor on her shoulder, immediately excited as she thought of her upcoming apprenticeship at a local tattoo parlor. Pacey had also been pleasantly surprised at the idea of her as a tattoo artist, he'd even said he couldn't imagine her doing anything in her life where she wasn't fully immersed in her art. A smile crept to her eyes as she thought of him, it was the most natural, involuntary reaction. She tried everything she could to rid herself of these thoughts, but they all failed.

In one night he was able to penetrate all the defenses she managed to erect, even just slightly and it was enough to through her whole world off kilter. At that moment she was very glad to have the sound of Jesse Lacey's voice pull her from her reverie.

 _"I am Heaven sent, don't you dare forget_

Or maybe not as all the things she fought against feeling swirled around her head. Maybe now was the time for that phone call.

"No Jen, it was lovely."

"So then why do you sound so distant? What's going on Jo? " Joey sighed as she tucked her legs clad in ripped leggings under her Taking Back Sunday hoodie. "I mean, the date could have been lovely but you don't sound like you had a particularly good time."

"No! No, that's not it. That's the exact opposite of it, in fact. I just…I don't…ugh!" She sighed dramatically through the phone, while Jen tried to stifle her laughter.

"Joey, Joey," Jen scolded playfully. "I'm surprised at you. You would typically concoct some ornate and elaborate sentence to try and express your feelings, or lack thereof, and tonight I simply get, ugh? I have a feeling you actually might want to say something profound instead of waxing poetic about the misgivings of romance."

"Quiet you. While yes, I am typically much more verbose, especially with you my dearest compeer, tonight, I think I'm at a loss for words." Jen scoffed, Joey had a million things going through her mind, a million things she wanted to say, but she just couldn't put them into words. That would make it too real. And this was happening way too fast as it were, no, Joey Potter would do like she always did.

"So…it was that good? I knew you and Pacey would have some chemistry left, considering how things were left so…"

"No Jen, we're not going there right now. He already asked me about that summer, I just told him we'd get there. I'm just not ready to unburden myself that load just yet."

"You continue to carry that chip Jo, by the time you're ready to get rid of it, who knows what opportunities may have passed you by."

"I do not have a chip." Joey said pointedly, Jen's eyebrow raised and somehow, through the phone line, Joey could see it. "Fine. It's a chip. Or maybe it was a chip. Now, Jen, it's a fucking tether. It only lets me get so far off the ground before it smashes me back into reality. I'm tired of bashing off the rocks every time I open myself up. And he can't know why, not yet, not until he knows who I am now. But I'm scared Jen, and I don't think either of us are ready for that." Jen took in her words, knowing the exact series of events that caused Joey to feel this way. She knew also that Joey had no idea the things Pacey had been through that made him harbor a similar disillusionment. No, maybe they weren't ready for that leap…but perhaps they were ready to take a nice, leisurely stroll towards that precipice, together.

"Well Jo, I can't say that I understand. I mean, I get it, I just…I want you to not be afraid. And I honestly think that Pacey is…"

"Don't." Joey warned. "I have every intention of exploring whatever this is. I just really really really like having him back in my life. He makes me smile Jen, and laugh, all I can do is hope to be his friend and…" A smile crossed Joey's face as she thought about a relationship with Pacey, something significantly more than friendship.

"Joey, are you fucking fantasizing about Pacey again?" Joey blushed furiously.

"What?! No, I'm not thinking about fucking Pacey!" Her only response was Jen's uproarious laughter.

"Oh Jo, I didn't….no, oh that's so good. I said fucking fantasizing….not the other way. Gee, and I thought Pacey was the perv." Once the reality of what Jen said sunk in, Joey joined her laughter.

"Fine. Pacey is on my mind. And now I have to wait three days until I see him again! Three agonizingly long days Jen. It's so strange," Joey said softly. "I haven't seen him in six years. We've barely spoken on the phone, had a few brief and awkward, AIM conversations, and now. It's like no time is lost and all I want, or need, is him back in my orbit. He just makes me feel like I'm, home. And it's been a very long time since anything has felt like that." Jen smiled widely to herself, she hoped this was an amiable portent of things to come.

"Well Jo…" Jen started on about something but Joey's attention was focused elsewhere. She was sure she had just heard footsteps. Maybe she shouldn't have indulged whilst sitting loftily above the ground, especially in a heightened emotional state. She tried scooting near the edge of the roof, but she was too conservative and couldn't see anything. Shaking her head, she decided maybe to head back in when she heard another, more distinctive noise.

"Potter? Is that you, Jo?"

"Pacey?" She replied, her heart accelerating as she approached the edge.

"What is he doing there?" She had forgotten Jen.

"I don't know. I'll call you back." And before Jen could utter another word Joey had hit end. "Pace, what are you doing here?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Would you believe I have absolutely no idea?" The back security light had come, illuminating his profile. She took in his presence, still unsure that he was actually there.

"Give me a sec, I'll be right down." For the first time, in a very long time, Pacey Witter was nervous about a girl. Not just any girl, he continuously reminded himself. As soon as he pulled out of the drive way he wanted to go back. There was something magnetic in her and he was positively charged to be drawn to her. As he waited for her to emerge from the house he couldn't help but be taken in by the beauty of his surroundings. He loved Nita's. They'd come here all the time as kids and, though Joey had no idea, every spring he, Jack, Dawson and Drue come out and get her place ready for sowing, and every fall after harvest he would come back and make sure it was ready for the winter. It was his way of keeping her close to his heart, and Nita was essentially the grandmother he didn't have so he came, every year and wished that she would be there with him. He shook his head and turned away from the door, staring in the direction of the lake, he knew that was cold still just from the smell, he loved how well he knew the water, sometimes he thought it would be the only thing he ever loved, because it always seemed to love him back no matter what. At least that's what he thought up until an hour ago. Watching her frame retreat into the house it dawned on him he'd been waiting his whole life to have that moment. To make her smile, to make her blush, to quiver beneath his hands…to simply take her on a date and be allowed to bask in the afterglow of a kiss.

"Hey," she said softly, closing the space between them as he turned to face her. Her arms awkwardly held a large blanket to which evident relief flooded his features, she wasn't asking him to leave.

"Hey."

"What are you doing here?" she asked, slightly awestruck. Her heart was nearly pounding out of her chest, he was really here, he came back for her, and maybe this armor could be removed.

"I uh, got home and realized…" he moved towards her, taking the blanket from her and clasping her hand in his. "I didn't really want the night to be over yet." Joey's smile, whose default setting was only to allow half of her lips to convey happiness, beamed radiantly across the whole expanse of her mouth.

"I had been thinking the same thing since you left." She admitted, leading him towards the bluff.

"I like the lights." Pacey smiled as he motioned to twinkle lights illuminated in the trees around him."

"Oh, thanks. What's the point of a hammock overlooking the lake if you can't appreciate her in all her glory?" Laying on the hammock gingerly, she crossed her feet and laced her fingers behind her head as her hair escaped its erstwhile bun and fell around her face. He stood there and for the first time he noticed all the familiarity of childhood Joey in the beautiful woman who lay before him. Her hoodie was too big, her leggings ripped in various places, her always ready Chuck Taylors had found themselves adorning her feet once more, and this is exactly how he remembered her. Especially when they'd camp at Nita's. It was here, underneath the twinkling of a billion stars that his child's heart was taken by hers, and now as a man, he could feel that same familiar pull.

"Care to join me?" He unfurled the blanket, sitting carefully on the hammock, covering them with the blanket before laying back beside her. Snuggling up to him, she felt his arm snake around her, his hand resting on the small of her back and she couldn't help but shiver at the sensation of his hands on her.

"Can I say something?" He asked, adding quickly, "Without it diminishing your opinion of me?"

"I don't know Pace, it'd be hard to get any lower."

"Cute, Potter. Here I am, about to have a moment and you start flapping your lips and ruin everything." She could feel her eyes narrow in response, this was the particular repartee of Pacey and Joey, the tweenage years, where all they seemed to do was virtually annoy one another, and it managed to carry over on the few occasions they had seen each other. That's how sixteen year old Joey Potter knew there was more, something laying just under the surface that neither was brave enough to touch. She refused to make those mistakes again. Sheathing the retort that was playing on her tongue, she softened her gaze and turned her head to face him.

"Please, Pace, what's on your mind?" He, too, had been expecting to fall back into familiar habits, until he looked into her eyes and saw nothing but encouragement there. He still paused, trying to find the words to best express the emotions that were jostling his heat and mind.

"I simply wanted to say," Holding her expectant eyes no words would fall from his lips, only desire to kiss her once more, perhaps to say more than words he hoped to produce. And so he did, leaving all the words lingering on his tongue to dance happily on hers. The kiss lasted longer than either knew possible, only pulling away from one another when they were sure the feeling behind the words they couldn't speak were actually expressed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Not mine, don't own, etc, etc, etc... Sorry it's taken so long, but life, ugh, it sure does suck sometimes. Anyway, you know the drill, leave love :)**

The sun rose lazily that morning. Its brilliant golds and pinks swam in the warming lake, a heavy fog rolling up the beaches, enveloping the newly formed couple, sleeping blissfully in the hammock. Nita watched from the back porch, smiling broadly to herself. She always liked that Witter boy, not so much as he was sleeping with her niece, after their first date, in her back yard, but she knew best how to make her presence known.

"Uh, what the hell?" Joey moaned loudly as the droplets began to come harder and with more urgency. Completely forgetting where she was, she moved to stand causing both her and Pacey to go crashing into the ground.

"Owwwww." He groaned, now fully awake, pained and soaked to the bone. Try as he might, he wasn't the least bit upset, he had gotten to fall asleep with Joey Potter in his arms, the rude awakening was a small price for his own personal slice of heaven. And then he heard the laughter. Uproarious, hysterical laughter.

"Nita!" Joey reprimanded, moving to her feet, wringing her hair and clothes out as she approached her aunt. "What was that for?" She had turned off the water and placed the hose back on the reel, still laughing at the drenched youths before her.

"Well, you couldn't really think I'd just let that slide. I mean, an opportunity like that only comes once, maybe twice in a lifetime. Oh Josephine, if you could see your own face, it would be worth it to you, too." Joey's face, which had been twisted in a mean scowl softened as she saw Pacey smiling and simply shook her head at her aunt.

"Fine, we deserved that. But you should have thought it through, I mean, I can change into warm clothes right now, but Pacey? Why, he'll probably catch pneumonia, and you'll have that to weigh on your conscience."

"Oh please, Pacey has left more than enough clothes here over the years that I'm sure he'll be able to find something to change into." The words didn't even register as she spoke them, but Joey noticed, and when she looked at Pacey, she knew the words definitely demanded an explanation. Turning to stop him entrance to the house, she cocked her eyebrow as if awaiting his response.

"Joey, let him in. Go change, I'll get breakfast prepared and we can all talk." Nita's word, as always and on all matters, was final. Whipping her hair as she turned, Joey stomped off in the direction of her bedroom as Nita handed Pacey a pile of his own clothes.

"You better make that coffee strong Nita, we're going to need it."

"Maybe throw in a shot of whiskey for luck, huh?"

"A woman after my own heart," he beamed and placed a kiss on Nita's head. She shooed him away to change and tried to think of the best way to fix the mess her big mouth had gotten her in.

"So, I wanted to thank you again, Pace." They were walking back towards his car, after a delicious breakfast and careful conversation, things were right back on track.

"Jo, you don't need to thank me for anything."

"But I do. You, all the guys really, Jen, Grams, everyone did so much for Nita when we couldn't. Does it make me feel shitty that it seems we practically abandoned her here? Yes, absolutely. But I could not be happier that you stepped up and did so much for her. For us, really. You are a really wonderful guy Pace." Kissing him on the cheek she let her lips linger for just an extra second, feeling his arms close in on her and hold her close. She peppered kisses across his cheekbone, down his prominent jaw, making her way to his waiting lips. What started slowly and sweetly quickly morphed like molten steel, hot, rough, a battle between their mouths.

"I guess I should be going now," He whispered against her lips. "We still on for Tuesday?"

"Nah, I suddenly had a change of heart." She noticed his eyes drop, "Do you think Tuesday is too far away? I mean, two more days Pace, I don't know if I can handle it." The smile quickly returned to his features as he realized she wanted to be away from him about as much as he wanted to be away from her.

"It's way too far, but as they say, absence makes the heart…"

"Finish that thought and I will take away all chances for future children. I've been gone long enough, I don't know that make heart can take any more grand absences, great distances, or multiple days between dates." She pouted, she so badly wanted him to acquiesce, all the while wanting him to tell her no, she was a mass of contradictions and it was all his fault.

"As much as I would like to see you every single day, Potter," he said accented each word with a kiss along the long column of her neck. "I did have previous plans, and if it were anyone else, I would break them in a second but…let's just say this day is long overdue."

"Fine. I wouldn't want to turn you into someone who doesn't keep their word. Tuesday then, should I know the pertinent details before you leave?" Her grandiose dramatics were not lost on Pacey Witter, he met her eyes once again, trying to convey more than his words seemed to carry.

"I never said we couldn't communicate, you know. Anytime you feel you can't keep whatever biting remark or scathing comment to yourself, text me. And then I can ignore you electronically!" She playfully punched him in the shoulder as he got it to his car. "You know Jo, I'm not sure I've said this yet, but I am insanely glad that you're back." She kissed him again, softly.

"Not nearly as glad I am, Pacey." Watching as his taillights disappeared down the driveway, she sighed to herself. Two whole days. How could she have gone six years without him in her life when the idea of forty-eight hours was nearly unbearable? Why had she waited so long since she'd been back? Wrapping her arms around herself she headed back towards the house, it was definitely a multiple pots of coffee kind of day.

Nita had gone to church with Grams, leaving Joey alone to mull over tug of war between her heart and her head. Nita had urged her to come along, but the church never offered Joey the solace the waves did. Taking her thermos and mp3 player, she made her way down to the beach. She was home. She was happy, happier than she could remember being….at least in a very long time.

After she'd moved to Capeside, the most fun she would have were the two weeks of summer when she'd get to come back and see Nita and her friends. It had only lasted those first two years, after her mother passed, her father insisted he couldn't afford the trips and Joey had been devastated. She was extremely fortunate, however, to have a best friend like Jen Lindley. Jen refused to let Joey slip away and worked very hard to keep their friendship intact. She'd made a point to call weekly, at least, and would have the boys come over at least once a month for a full-blown phone party. That was the only time Joey really ever talked to Dawson, not Pacey, though, they had their own phone date every Sunday night when they'd watch the X-Files. She was too scared to watch it alone, but she loved it, she loved falling asleep on the phone to the sound of his voice.

She shook her head, breaking her reverie, wondering if he still remembered those nights, and how badly they both got in trouble for the long distance charges. Laughing to herself, she sipped her coffee slowly and got lost once again, in her nostalgic tidal wave.

Joey Potter did not have many friends in Capeside. She was cold and sarcastic, especially after her mother had passed. She wanted nothing more than to run away from home and go back to the only other people that she ever thought she'd love. But she knew she could never abandon Bessie, not with their father going to jail the year after her mother's death. At fourteen she worked constantly at the Icehouse, helping in any way she could to help maintain their livelihood. It was hard, and it turned her hard, every hope she'd ever had was seemingly dashed before it ever made light. Talking to Jen and Pacey hurt so bad, that as soon as she'd hung up the phone she'd cry. Not that she would have ever let them know, but it was getting to be too hard to hear their voices.

It was around that time that the families Witter and Potter decided that a computer with that new-fangled internet would be a worthwhile investment. And it was indeed, Joey and Pacey talked daily through AIM. A year they spent re-learning each other, talking about every fear and insecurity to new favorite ice-cream flavors. Their friendship was flourishing, they seemed to grow closer by the minute, and perhaps new, slightly hormonal feelings came into play. Pacey's new attitude toward the Potter girl was not lost on the astute Jen Lindley, nor was Joey's new optimism. Her only friend in Capeside, Tilly Rollins, noticed too, and was happy to see her breaking out of her shell. She beamed when she spoke of that Witter boy, how the confidence he had given her shone like light from her eyes. They were falling.

It was nearing the end of their sophomore year of high school. The Icehouse had been struggling, as a summer business it had started strong, but as word made its way around the Cape, that it's former proprietor had been jailed, business steadily declined. An idea had come to Bessie one night who had been trying to figure out how to keep the restaurant afloat and maintain their household, which now included her and Bodies' son, Alexander. The revamping of the Icehouse, with a new menu and mission, was the top priority, and she was afraid that Joey would fall to the wayside, which she could and would not allow. The word overwhelmed did not even begin to describe Bessie Potter.

She began talking to Nita, and Grams, hoping that Joey might be able to go back. Joey and Jen were ecstatic, they began planning everything they were going to do that summer except tell anyone else that Joey's visit was more than temporary. Joey had told Pacey that she was finally coming home, at least for a few weeks, and he was so excited he could hardly contain it. His feelings for her were finally coming to a head, soon he'd be able to see her, touch her, and hold her….and Joey felt exactly the same. She wanted nothing more than a real, true kiss from the one boy she'd wanted to kiss her, ever since his lips first touched her.

She didn't seem to notice the tears that were flowing freely down her cheeks, or that she was no longer alone on the beach. Jen stood back, watching her, wondering what had happened to leave her friend in such a state. She slowly sat next to Joey on the sand and put her arm around her shoulders.

"Christ, Lindley!" Joey nearly jumped out of her skin, earbuds falling to the wayside, the soft melody of Dashboard Confessional's "Hands Down" floated through the air.

"Sorry woman, it looked like you needed a hug! Everything okay?" Joey nodded and mustered a half smile.

"Yeah, just reminiscing. Pacey keeps asking me what happened that summer, and when I think back, I can't really remember…I know I was scared because it all felt too real, and I was far too unstable to handle that level of emotional response. And I was so, so hurt, but I really don't think he knows that. How do I tell him that he broke my heart without even trying, and more to the point, why does it feel like it will be so easy to hand it back to him?"

"You know, he wasn't with Andie when you got here," Joey raised her eyes to meet Jens, urging her on. She took a deep breath and continued. "I only found out after the fact that Jack had told you they were together. And then I dumped his sorry ass, of course, he did turn out to be gay and he apologized, and now we're like, super close but, I never really let that go. Andie was very mentally ill, and she developed um, a huuuuuge crush on Pacey that year and yes, they were friends, but all he ever wanted was you, Jo. And now I guess you two have to have this conversation if you ever want to move forward because, you broke his heart too, and neither of you could face it."

"Couldn't we just, leave it in the past, look toward the future with open minds and hearts?" They both laughed, so hard they were gasping for air, as neither was such an optimistic sap.

"Come on," Jen said, pulling Joey up from the sand. "Nita and Grams are in planning stage for the church social and I have a feeling they need our help to make it not…"

"Suck?" Joey supplied. They laughed again, walking up the steep steps that lead away from the beach, Joey snuck one final glance at the water as she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Confront the past, face the future and love, she said to herself, suddenly wondering who Pacey was spending tomorrow with, and feeling that perhaps, some text message harassment was in his near future. She could get used to this.


	6. Chapter 6

**This had taken much longer than anticipated, so, sorry about that. Again, I don't own them, yadda yadda. Thanks to all who review, especially Yana, for all your encouragements. Enjoy...there may just be some more today :)**

"So, a swing dance huh?"

"Yes. So you had better get your zoot suit pressed and dust off your fedora."

"I should, should I? For what point and purpose?"

"Well, how exactly do you plan on being my escort if you don't look the part?"

"Is this your way of asking me to go to the social with you, Potter?"

"Are you refusing my invitation, Witter? Because you're sounding less than enthusiastic about the thought of accompanying me."

"I don't seem to recall any of those words escaping my lips, Miss Josephine. I would be honored to have you on my arm." Joey smiled to herself, she never realized how affected she could be by a few simple words. Words she had heard before, but not from the lips of Pacey Witter, words she had been waiting to hear for years.

"Good," she tried to make her voice sound cool and collected, but inside she was squealing like a teenie bopper. "So now that we've taken care of that, perhaps we should decide on what we're doing on our forthcoming date…"

"Well, as cliché as a picnic on the PI sounds….I thought it might be a nice way to actually spend some time together, just you and I."

"A picnic? I can do that. Now are we reinstating the old tradition of rollerblades on the PI, because I don't know if I'm quite up for that. The last time I donned blades, I was in Boston and nearly fell in the Charles."

"Frauline, you know you cannot PI without blades." He could swear that even over the phone you could feel her eyes rolling. "You are so lucky to have me assist you then, as I am a master of all things skating."

"Good, when I fall on my ass, it will be you." His throaty chuckle sent shivers down Joey's spine. She was trying, and failing miserably, to reign in her hormones, to keep her feelings in check, but every second she spent with or talking to Pacey, she slipped further. How could this be so easy?

"Jo? Are you still there?" Snapped out of her spiraling thoughts she shook off her doubts and regained some semblance of control.

"Don't think you can get rid of me that easy, Pace. While the thought of breaking my face on the pavement is not entirely appealing, the fact I get to be doing it with you makes it worth it." Her yawn interrupted the last words.

"Aw, is someone sleepy?"

"Shut it. Yes, I am tired, I slept in a hammock last night and got woken up by a hose if you recall. No sleep for Joey. After Nita and Grams got back from church, it was social planning, cleaning, and gorging on leftover pies. Jen swore she was never eating said pastry again as long as she lived."

"How is my dear Lindley? I haven't seen her much in the past couple of months."

"Avoidance much?" Clearing his throat, and his thoughts, Pacey struggled to get a grasp on the words he wanted to say.

"Avoid Jen? Me? Now, why would I do that?" Joey smirked, laying back on her bed, wrapping herself in the sweater that Pacey had left behind that morning. She knew all about why Pacey had made himself scarce around Jen lately, she couldn't help but be amused.

"A certain blonde roommate perhaps?" Pacey thought his heart was going to drop out of his stomach.

"Uh, well, I mean. Um…fuck." Joey's, now howling, laughter brought his thoughts back to the forefront. "So you know? And you're…laughing about it…okaaay."

"I have been in town a few months Pace, a girl is bound to hear some gossip, especially when it concerns her fir…Anyway, yes I know. And it's quite alright, amusing to say the least."

"Why did you wait so long to see me, Jo?" he asked, suddenly very demure. The abrupt serious turn in their conversation caught Joey completely off guard. She didn't want to have this conversation over the phone, she needed to see him.

"How about we leave the heavy stuff for our picnic? I'd rather not cry on the phone, okay? We'll wax all things philosophical and romantical Tuesday, capisce?"

"Alright Potter, I suppose I can wait another day or two, you've only left me waiting for six years." Boom. There it was. Sucker punch. Joey felt the air leave her body as if she'd actually been hit but managed to rally before she responded.

"You're right Pace, there's a lot that needs to be said, and I'm sorry if I haven't been necessarily forthcoming, but I'm trying to keep some walls intact before they all crumble at your feet. I don't share, I emote Pacey, you were always right when you called me the Ice Queen, but you know, you've done more to dispel that stigma in two days than anyone has in the past six years, so please, can we do this in person?" Hearing the struggle in her voice, Pacey backed off. Just another day he reminded himself, and it could be tomorrow if not for his previous plans.

" _Hey Pace, Gretchen wants to know what time you'll be over tomorrow to get Rosie."_ The voice flitting through the other snapped Joey back to the present.

"Is that Dawson?" she questioned as he heard him respond to the posed quandary.

"Yes, that is Dawson. Damn you have supersonic hearing woman." He laughed as Dawson entered his room, eyebrow raised.

"Shouldn't he be in Hollywood, ripping off Steven Speilberg?" Pacey's uproarious laughter made Dawson even more curious as to who he was on the phone with, he never talked to anymore for more than a minute and then it was usually work related.

"Ah, Potter, that's adorable. Tried and failed, back here with the likes of us, now sleeping on my couch."

' _Potter, as in Joey?'_ Dawson mouthed to Pacey. His shy smile in response was all Dawson needed to see, _'Good for you man. I'll tell Gretchen ten? Yeah?'_ Pacey nodded as he left the room, glad he didn't have to face a more stringent line of questioning. Oh, he was sure it would come in time, though.

"Well, I guess I should let you go, on account of your date tomorrow."

"It's not a date Joey, it's just a previously arranged meeting that I can't get out of."

"No, I get it, Pacey, it' fine. I'm sure _Rosie_ will love your company."

"Jo, it's not like that, I swear." The rising panic in his voice made Joey reevaluate her next few thoughts.

"Fine, if you say so. Just make sure you rub her belly really good, I hear she's a total whore for that." Her laughter broke his reverie. She played him, like a damned fiddle.

"You knew?"

"Of course, Jen was more than forthcoming when I said you had a previous commitment. You could have just told me you were taking your dog for the day Pace, I don't know why you thought I would be upset."

"I, honestly, don't know why I didn't just tell you, maybe I want you to be my first priority from now on and I thought you wouldn't take kindly to my putting Rosie first."

"Okay, new rule, you and I will be upfront and forthright with everything. Honesty and communication are the only way we're going to move forward, and that's what we need to do. So you have fun and get your puppy loving in tomorrow, because Tuesday you are all mine, and I plan on putting this new rule into effect."

"You got it. So, is this good night then?"

"I suppose it is. It's fuck late, after all. So Tuesday, 11 at the PI?"

"Yes. Have I told you how much I missed you?" He said, his voice just above a whisper.

"Yes, now good night, because if you keep talking like that, we'll never get off the phone."

"Night beautiful."

"Night Pace."

Hanging up their respective phones, they both gazed at the ceiling wondering what the next few days would hold. Joey's mind rattled with all the things she needed to tell him, and she was downright scared at the thought of his reaction. Sighing, she got up from her bed and made her way to the dresser, her favorite scotch finding its way from the bottle to her mouth. This was no way for an adult to deal with their problems, she mused, but if it stops the spinning in my head, I'll give it a try. She drank to fall asleep, which didn't stop the dreams, each ending with him walking away from her.

Monday was spent trying to keep as busy as possible, getting her things ready for her upcoming internship with the design firm Balmore-Reed Advancements in Architecture. It was all she had ever wanted, throwing herself into blueprints in her youth, it was the only thing that had saved her from herself. Now, the more she stared at her designs and studied the classics, the less magnificent she found them. For her, it was always about integrity, the fact that these massive, domineering structures seemed to effortlessly rise against the backdrop of life. Joey had used them as a metaphor for herself for so long, it was easy to lose sight of who she was without them. That was until she got her first tattoo.

She had celebrated her semester in Paris with a small Fleur de Lis at the base of her neck, and she was hooked. Most people with tattoos will tell you it's addictive, once you get past the pain and the realization of permanence, the art is what you crave. In her final year in Boston, Joey had amassed quite a few small pieces, a patchwork of life experience, her skin a quilt of all her misgivings, there for the world to see, but not understand. When her artist saw her first few sketches, she'd encouraged Joey to get into an apprenticeship, knowing that she would excel. Her hesitancy showed, she surmised that being the one to physically inscribe people's thoughts and feelings on their body was simply more than she could bear, then Tilly had come to her and asked if she would be willing to at least try on her. That was all it took. The feelings of accomplishment and pride after seeing her friends face admiring her new art made Joey feel more alive and whole than anything she'd done prior. When she moved, her artist called in a few favors and set her up with the apprenticeship at Dist-ink Works. She decided she would give herself the summer doing both and then decide the path she wanted to take, but Pacey Witter was the proverbial wrench in the works. He had the ability to shake all the foundations Joey planned on making, which was part of the reason she had waited so long to see him. Part of her had hoped he was with someone, happy in his life and unable to stir any feelings in her, but all it took was one accidental bump into his shoulder and she was sixteen again, willing to uproot her entire being for just a chance to being back in his orbit. After exhausting her "Emo Circle" playlist multiple times, she finally fell into a fitful sleep, hoping morning would hold the answers she sought.

"Ah, Josephine, glad for you to join me this morning." Nita said over her coffee, eyes never leaving her niece's wary form. "I was beginning to think you'd never come down from your room." Pouring herself a cup, Joey took a long, deep drink and sat across from her Aunt. Her eyes were rimmed red, hair piled loosely on top of her head, she looked as though she spent too much of her youth thinking.

"Nita, I was simply preparing for impending doom. I.e., my future." Nita's hands rang round her coffee mug, concerned by the changes in her niece in just a day.

"Joey, you aren't yet 23, how is you future impending doom?" When Joey cast her eyes to the floor, it dawned on Nita, this wasn't about her working future. "What did that boy do already? I mean, I knew he could be reckless, but one day?"

"No, no, nothing happened. I mean, Pacey didn't do anything. Not intentionally anyway." Her fingers absentmindedly tangled in a piece of hair that managed to disengage from the rest as her teeth worried her bottom lip. "Nita, I have to tell him why I left. And I don't know if he'll forgive me, and it's…it's eating me up inside." Tears were now threatening to fall, but she managed to keep them from cascading down her face.

"Oh, sweetie. I can't believe after all this time he doesn't know." Joey shook her head, remembering what Jen had told her the other day, and the part that she'd kept to herself all these years, how that in a few short hours, everything would change.

"He will soon enough. I'm going to get ready." Kissing her aunt on the head as she passed, she allowed the tears to momentarily fall, before steeling herself to face Pacey. "You wouldn't happen to know where my rollerblades are….do you?" Nita laughed, she had a feeling everything would be okay after all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for the love everyone! It really helps the motivation. Again, they aren't mine, etc, etc. I'm playing around with tenses a little bit, so please let me know what you think. Thanks in advance.**

Joey's POV

Have you ever heard a song and been instantly teleported to another time and place? It's as if you've been sucked through a wormhole and dropped on a pike, as if nostalgia is coursing through your entire body. Whether good or bad, you're paralyzed, forced to endure the song in its entirety before you can break free. My relapse was not only self-inflicted, but purely coincidental, as the aforementioned song had been intentionally avoided for innumerable years, and yet it reared its loathsome head right when I needed it most.

For my fourteenth birthday I received a CD from one, Pacey Witter, attached was a note to 'Call me when you get this.' So I did, and was promptly instructed to listen to track seven. We listened together, and as the song ended, and my frenzied tears stilled on my cheeks, he'd told me how as soon as he'd heard it, he thought of me. That no matter how lonely I ever felt, I'd never be alone in this world, and that he would be there. Always. That was the night I fell in love with Pacey. I've never told him. I've actually been able to push it so far down that I had almost been able to forget about it all together. That was until five nights ago, when our eyes met and I got to feel his arms around me, and I stumbled. But Joey Potter is not one who is knocked off balance so easily, and while I am literally teetering every time we speak or touch or kiss, I have managed to keep my wits about me. Up until this damned CD found its way underneath my rollerblades, neither of which I actually remember packing. The CD I could never get rid of, but before today, I couldn't tell you the last time I'd seen it. I tried to pack it away, close this chapter of my life when I decided to move back to Capeside that summer. I suppose more ironically is that on the day I had to face my past head on, rehash why I ran, and the reminder of why I should never have left stared me in the face.

 _June 13, 1999_

" _Joey, will you please stop fidgeting? You are making me insane!" Jen chided from the driver's seat as her companion went back and forth between toying with her hair and the car stereo._

 _"Jen, I am trying to keep myself as calm as possible. And this song does it," Noticing her friends pointed glare, she amended, "Well, mostly. Okay, it just makes me think about him more!" Jen laughed to herself once Joey finally verbalized the root of her agitation, knowing all along the thought of their particular childhood friend had gotten her friend all twisted up inside._

 _"I am more than aware of the effect Mr. Witter has on you dear, I'm just glad you actually admitting it, instead of trying to play coy. We have listening to 'Clumsy' since we left Nita's, that's like, eight times at least. I love Our Lady Peace as much as the next Jo, but this is yours and his song, and it's starting to eat the inside of my eyeballs." Joey rolled her eyes, but yielded, playing instead a different selection from her favorite album._

 _"Do you think he still listens to it?" she asked quietly. She looked toward the pier as the car slowed, figures, which appeared to be laughing, sat along the length of the structure. Joey swallowed hard in a vain attempt to control not only her breathing, but to keep her heart from escaping out of her throat._

 _"I know he does, Jo." Jen said stepping out of the car. "As a matter of fact, we had this conversation not a week ago." Joey's eyes widened, a full smile crossing her features for the first time in what seemed like forever. She jumped out of the car and circled round, linking arms with her best friend._

 _"I've missed you so much Jenny. I can't believe I'm back!"_

 _"Neither can I, and to be honest, I won't until you tell that boy of yours. He's going to be over the moon, you know." Scrunching her nose at Jen, Joey turned her attention back to the group awaiting their presence, it was Dawson who first saw them and waved them down enthusiastically. When he turned, and their eyes met, she knew she was a done for. A smile like one she'd never produced before, erupted before she could even realize her feet were moving more swiftly towards him. She also didn't realize that when he stood, he starting moving towards her at the same speed. Momentum propelled her into his waiting arms, spinning her through the air, greedily accepting the contact between them. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she was pulled through several more welcoming hugs from Dawson and Gretchen, as well as introductions to Jack and Andie. She happily greeted everyone, exchanging small talk with everyone but the one person she wanted to be talking to. He stood to the side, leaning against an abutment, the ghost a of smile on his lips but eyes shining like the sea, just watching her. When she had exhausted all the questions her new and old friends had for her, she excused herself and made her way back to his side._

 _"Miss me, Potter?"_

 _"You? No, I've liked having food in my house the past few years. And not having to deal with the stench after one of your and Dawson's impromptu camping misadventures."_

 _"And here I thought that jumping, spin hug was a sign that you've finally admitted what I've known for so long."_

 _"And what exactly is that, Pace?"_

 _"That my arms are where you belong."_

 _July 4, 1999_

 _"Paaaceeeey, where are we going? You know I'm not particularly fond of trying to nocturnally navigate the shoreline."_

 _"Jo. Shut it. There is absolutely no navigation necessary, as I know exactly where we are going, so just keep close, 'kay?"_

 _"I swear Pacey, if I miss the fireworks I am going to beat your ass." Reaching behind him, he pulled her close and kissed her hard._

 _"If fireworks are all you want..." Seeing her eyes narrow in the dim glow of the flashlights, he chuckled. "Just a little further, I promise." He clasped her hand tightly in his and they made their way to his spot._

 _"You are too cute, Witter. It's going to prove to be hazardous to my health." He chuckled, knowing the smirk on her face was one only he could put there._

 _"See!" He exclaimed, arriving at their destination just a few minutes later. "And still in one piece, my sweet, I told you I'd never let anything bad happen to you." He kissed her softly as he laid the blanket on the sand. The night was clear, it seemed as though every star had made its way out to watch the young lovers, to bathe them in their light before the fireworks lit the sky._

 _"This is beautiful, Pace. Thank you." They sat next to one another, his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders, keeping her head tucked neatly under his as he placed a kiss on her crown._

 _"I'm so happy you're back, Jo. I just wish I would have known it was going to be for longer than a week, or I wouldn't have agreed to go on this stupid trip with Dougie."_

 _"We still have a week before you leave, you know," she said quietly peeking up from beneath her long lashes, catching his eyes as his brow furrowed in confusion. "And I for one think we've waited long enough for a night like tonight."_

 _"Joey, what are you trying to say?" She pulled away from him slightly and held his gaze as she tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear._

 _"I'm saying that, my entire life you have been there for me. Like no one else has, or ever will. You know everything about me Pacey, every fear, insecurity, pain, you know all my scars, physical and emotional and you have never once ran from me because of them. When my dad went back to jail last year, I never thought I could feel right, or whole again, and then there you were. You've stood by my side through this massive distance and I knew that no matter what, I would never fall because you would never let me, and if I did, you'd be right there helping me re-assemble the pieces. You're my best friend, but I love you in more than just friendly terms, and I want nothing more than to make love to you on this beach, under the stars and fireworks and…" before she could finish her thought his lips were on hers, frantically trying to convey all he was thinking and feeling._

 _"I love you, too." He huskily muttered against her lips, feeling her smile against him he kissed her more slowly, more passionately than he could ever knew he could. Laying her beneath him on the blanket, they lost themselves on a secluded beach, on the fourth of July. Neither would ever look at the fireworks the same again._

 _August 7, 1999_

 _"Hey Andie." Joey said surprised. She was alone at Grams' house, for the very first time, and this particular blonde visitor was completely unexpected. "Jen and Grams aren't here right now, did you want to come in?"_

 _"Oh no thanks Joey, um, I was wondering if maybe you and I could talk real quick. Maybe, go for a little walk?" Joey shrugged her approval, following Andie from the house._

 _"So …."Joey prompted after they'd walked a few blocks._

 _"What's going on with you and Pacey?" Taken aback, Joey fumbled for a response. They hadn't exactly defined whatever it was they were, and since she still hadn't told him she was staying he didn't see the need to. "I mean, I don't really want to pry here it's just that, well before you came back we were always together." The words poured from Andie's lips like acid, even if it wasn't her intention, her words were laced with innuendo._

 _"Well, I mean I know you guys had gotten close, Pacey said you were a great friend to him."_

 _"Friend?" she scoffed. "That's what he told me you were, right before he asked me out." Joey searched Andie's face, but could only see what was presented. Her words weren't malicious, but blunt, hurtful, honest. Shaking her head, Joey tried to persevere._

 _"Andie, you and I both know that is not Pacey. He and I wouldn't be what were are if he was dating you, so either it didn't happen or he broke things off."_

 _"Are you calling me a liar, Joey? Are you insinuating that when he told me he loved me just before he left with Doug, it was just my imagination? Because that's what it sounds like, and I wouldn't lie about this, not now." And that's when Joey noticed Andie's hand, resting protectively on her stomach._

 _"I'm not trying to imply or insinuate anything, I just think there has to be more going on here than you're letting on. He told you about me, yes?" She nodded. "So could you believe for one second that when I came back things between he and I wouldn't change?" Rolling her eyes and letting out a mirthless laugh, Andie replied._

 _"Joey, I'm sure Pacey told you a great number of things, probably the same things he's told me. But it's different now, and you're leaving in a few weeks, so you might as well let him go."_

 _"That's where you're wrong. I have no intention of leaving, I'm back for good. So you had probably better get used to the fact that Pacey Witter never has been, nor will be, your boyfriend." Joey turned away from her, walking back to Grams' house._

 _"I'm pregnant Joey." That's when the bile started to rise in Joey's throat, but she managed to choke it down before she turned back to face her._

 _"That's a really low way to try and hold on to something, Andie." Her voice was quieter than she had intended, the reality of Andie's words sinking in._

 _"I know you don't know me well, but I would never do that. And you obviously believe that we must have had something together, or you wouldn't be staring daggers at me. And I guess since you were planning to stay you have a pretty heavy decision to make?"_

 _"And what would that be?"_

 _"Stay, and watch him raise a child with the woman he loves. Or leave. Let him go, without guilt, or shame, let him be happy. Without you." She turned and walked away from Joey, leaving her gasping for breath on the side of the road. She managed to stumble back to Grams, collapsing in a fit of tears on the porch. Could he have been with Andie? Wouldn't he have said something about being in love with someone? Was she pregnant at all, and if so, would it be Pacey's? Jen had said something before about Andie being a little off, but she certainly seemed on and to call Joey on every misgiving she had about their current state of relationship._

 _"Jo? Joey? Hey, what's wrong?" Jack came rushing up the porch stairs and kneeled next to her. She met his eyes and saw her worst fears staring back at her, pity. "Andie was here, wasn't she?" Fresh tears began to cascade down her cheeks, pooling dark blue on her tank top, she couldn't hold it in anymore. He was with Andie. Before her. Maybe even while they had been together and she was too blind to see it._

 _"Why, Jack? Why couldn't he tell me? Why did he make me believe he loved me?"_

 _"I don't know, Jo. I only know what I've seen, and I honestly think he could have loved you both, but now, his priorities have to change." She sniffled shaking her head._

 _"I don't think Jens back yet, um, but I'm going to go in, start packing I guess." She choked the words out as she tried to keep the tears at bay, to stop the fire from erupting from her stomach. He nodded empathetically and helped her in, as she collapsed again in a fit of tears. She didn't see him leave, if she had maybe she would have noticed the sorrow and guilt on his face, instead she packed up her things._

 _When Jen got back to the empty house she found a tearstained note that read:_

 _'Jen,_

 _I appreciate all you and Grams have done for me this summer, but I can't stay. Turns out Bessie needs me more than she realized. Who'd have thought, I'd actually want to go back to Capeside, but the longer I stay, the more I see that I'm not needed here. This may be goodbye for a while, I've got some things I have to work through and I need to know I can do it on my own. I love you, you've always been like a sister to me, so know it has nothing to do with you. Give everyone else my love, and tell Pacey, well, there's just too much. Just please tell him not to contact me, I couldn't bare it._

 _Love, Joey_

Present

"So, you're telling me you left that summer, after you planned on moving back up here, because Andie and Jack told you she was pregnant with my child?"

"In a nutshell, yes." He had been pacing ever since they started the conversation. The revelation that she intended to stay after that summer was almost more than he wanted to hear, but the fact that she had left because of a lie about him was unbearable. He looked at her, tears streaming unchecked down her face, her teeth worrying her bottom lip as she tried to compose herself for his reaction. He was angry, at her for believing he could be capable of such a thing and for not giving him the chance to tell his side. And he was devastated for her as well, for years she lived with the heartbreak of that summer, building the walls around her to keep those feelings from hurting her again. He actually couldn't form a single thought that didn't digress back to how she must be feeling so he took it as a sign and wrapped his arms around her, crying with her for the first time since they were young. They cried for the lost time, for the lies and doubt, for what they lost in each other when she walked away. "On a scale of one to ten, how much do you hate me?" she whispered when his hold on her slackened.

"A two, maybe. I could never hate you Joey. It hurts, like hell you know, but I'm not mad." He took her hand and kissed her knuckles before putting it to his heart. "How did you find out it was a lie?" "Jack, actually. He, Jen and I went to lunch right after I got back, and he told us. Jen had no idea about any of it. He said he's felt awful about it for years, but after Andie went away, he just kinda pushed it to the side since no one else knew about it. Just be forewarned, if I ever see that psycho again, I will punch her right in her perky, blonde face."

"I will not stop you. I might even bill the event at Watson's, I could make a fortune." She smacked him playfully, rolling her eyes. "Anything else I should know about, beautiful?" Every time he used an endearment, her heart melted a little bit more and she knew she wouldn't be able to stop herself from falling for very much longer.

"I did call you once after I left. I had a scare of my own…" Feeling his eyes bore into her, she quickly amended, "A literal scare. It was just stress! But I just had to hear your voice. I've never forgiven myself from running, for not thinking I was strong enough to see you with another woman. And honestly, I don't know that I was, I am now, but I hope I never have to."

"I can't promise you the future Joey, because no one knows what it holds, but I can promise you will never, ever feel like that again. Not at my hands or anyone's, we're in this together from now until, well, I hope a very long time from now." Her lips quirked into her patented half-smile.

"Why Mr. Witter, are you finally asking me to be your girlfriend?"

"I think I am Miss Potter. What do you say?"

"Hmm, I'll have to think about this. I'm fielding several offers right now and I…eeep!" She fell back on the blanket as he tickled her, fingers running up and down the length of her ribcage. "Pacey! Stop! I'm going to have French onion dip in my hair!" she said between bursts of laughter. He finally ceased his attack, resting on his elbow above her.

"So, this is familiar. Maybe this time, we should slow it down….see where it leads us." She looked quizzically at him.

"Pacey, we are adults now, sex shouldn't complicate everything. Unless you have another psycho ex waiting in the wings."

"Quiet woman. You should be clear of the psychos, well, mostly, but she's the only official ex I have. And I don't mean that slow, just, no rushing anything. Honestly policy right?" She nodded in affirmation.

"Exactly. Besides, the fourth is only a few weeks away."

"It is, isn't it? Wanna go sailing with me Potter?"

"I thought you'd never ask Pace." The kissed slowly, tentatively, for the first time since they'd laid their hearts on the line, feeling all their tensions dissipate as they started on this journey to rediscovering one another.


	8. Chapter 8

Clearly, I don't own them, never have and never will. Hope to have some more written in the next week, but I figured I should get something up lol. Thank you for all the support and kindness, especially you Yana, you always motivate me to make something from nothing! Leave some love.

Pulling up in front of Jack's apartment may not have been the best idea Pacey had ever had, but the anger was coursing through him, and he needed to let it out. Sure, it would probably have been easier to get mad at Joey for not trusting him, for leaving him when he needed her most, but how could he? She'd been abandoned so many times, unintentionally by her mother, of course, but her father had selfishly left her more than once, forcing the first of many walls to be erected. And with his, supposed betrayal, Pacey had only reinforced them. Hitting his hands against the steering wheel, Pacey found his bearings and then made his way to the door.

"Hey, baby brother. What brings you by?" Doug said answering the door. Of course, he would be there, Pacey thought, there goes just punching Jack in the face.

"I need to talk to your boyfriend, is he here?" Pushing past Doug, Pacey made his way into the apartment. Doug noticed the change in posture and voice, he had spoken to Pacey this morning and he was happy, maybe a little nervous, but there was no hint of the anger that seemed to consume him now.

"What's going on, Pace? I thought you had a date with Joey today, shouldn't you be over the moon, or something akin to happy? What's with the perpetual scowl?"

"Is Jack here or not, Doug, because as much as I would like to wax poetic with you about my current emotional state…"

"Whoa, Pace, what's going on?" Jack entered from the kitchen moving to stand beside Doug.

"Ah, Jackers, my best friend," his voice dripping with disdain, he continued. "How are you today? Because I was great. I was…ecstatic this morning, my entire future seemed so bright and yet, bam! The past came in and slapped down whatever delusions I was building in my mind."

"Okay Pacey, what does any of this have to do with Jack? I assume you and Joey had some kind of falling out, already, which has to be a record even for you."

"Doug, please, this isn't just about Joey, is it Pace?" Jack all but whispered.

"Oh it is, but not so much in the now. Let's think back a few years. Do you happen to remember that particular summer, Jack? I do, it's emblazoned in my memory!" His voice rose, movements stiffened, he was unable to control the anger any longer. "For the very first time in my life I felt like I was capable, like maybe, I wouldn't fuck up everything in my path and yet, as history has shown, it crashed around my feet."

"Pacey, please, you have to understand, Andie was sick, I was just trying to protect her. She couldn't handle the rejection she was bound to face and I just tried to help, soften the blow."

"SOFTEN THE BLOW?! Are you fucking kidding me, Jack? Andie is a sociopath. All she ever did, to everyone, is a lie. And what's worse? You were in on it! You knew. All the searching I did, the falling and the failing, every single fucking mistake I made directly correlated to the inadequacy I felt after Joey left. But she didn't just leave did she? She was fucking pushed out, away from her friends, her home, from me. All so Andie could have some peace of mind! And look how well that turned out!"

"Jack, what's he talking about?" Doug asked, moving from his boyfriend's side to his brothers. Taking a deep breath, Jack told Doug about what really happened that summer and waited for the fallout.

"Joey, what can I do for you?" Audrey said coolly as she opened the door.

"Is Jen home? I really need to talk to her."

"Come in," she motioned, directing Joey to the kitchen where Jen was with her boyfriend, Drue.

"Hey Jo, what's up?" Joey walked straight to the fridge, grabbing a beer and drinking it down quickly. "Oh, okay, one of those kinda days, huh? Didn't you have a date with Pacey?"

"Well, clearly that's why she's drinking Jenny." Drue deadpanned. Receiving glares from both his girlfriend, and Joey, he retreated back to Jen's side, shutting his mouth.

"You know, when things go way better than you planned for in your head, and yet your mind can't stop going on about how everything is still going to blow up in your face. Like, I told Pacey why I left, everything, about Jack, about Andie and he just kind of brushed it off."

"I'm confused. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"I thought so Jen. I mean, I do want that. But the stuff about Andie, the things I haven't even told you…I was just sure he'd fly off the deep end."

"Wait, what didn't you tell me? I know how she and Jack told you that Pacey was just toying with you and that he was really in love with Andie…and that still never seemed like reason enough to leave."

"That's because it wasn't all of it." Joey took a deep breath, opened another beer and proceeded to tell her friends all of what Andie had said to her that summer.

"Damn," Drue muttered when she had finished. Jen just looked at her sadly. Part of her was still angry and confused as to how Joey could just leave without asking for confirmation, but knowing that her best defense was always retreating, it made sense. It also made very clear exactly why she was the way she was today. Joey was strong, confident, and independent on the outside, her tough façade and combustible attitude always kept people at arms' length, which is where she wanted them. Very few people had been able to get close, only Tilly and after some time, and introspection, Joey reached out to Jen, always careful not to ask about home and the happenings of the old gang. Anytime Jen had tried to push the subject, Joey backed away and instead of losing her for good, she let it go.

"Jo, there's something you need to know, and I don't really know if it's my place to say anything so I'm going to make Drue tell you." Joey looked confusedly at Jen, then back to Drue, whose displeasure showed across his face.

"What is it you think I'm going to tell her, Lindley?"

"I want you to tell Joey how you and Pacey met." Pursing his lips, he regarded his girlfriend, knowing she was only trying to help her two friends but not really wanting to get involved. On one hand, he owed Pacey for bringing him into his circle and introducing him to Jen, on the other, he realized if Joey hadn't left that summer, he'd never have met Pacey, so maybe she should hear just a small, snippet of the story and then ask Pacey to fill in the rest. He resolved his mind to the latter and turned to Joey.

"Okay, I am doing this under protest, and I want it formally acknowledged that I only divulged pertinent information and did not contribute to any conjecture that may follow." He looked to Jen, who nodded in the affirmative, and then to Joey who followed suite. "Alright. Now, I don't know of all the circumstance that lead to the decision to leave town, I just know I was one of the first people in Philadelphia to meet, and befriend Pacey Witter."

"Philly? When did he move, for college?" Joey said, taking long drinks from her second beer. Drue shook his head and continued.

"No, this was the middle of junior year. He had to have left during Christmas break and started at my school after New Year's. He was quiet, kept to himself most days, but I noticed him hanging around after school, just destroying the drums." Her interest fully piqued, Joey finished her beer and focused on Drue, trying to take in what he was saying and not be crushed by the overwhelming guilt that was beginning to creep up on her. "We started talking, about the basics at first. Music, movies, cars. He wouldn't divulge too much on the topic of girls, which I couldn't understand, as a hot-blooded American teenage boy myself, but we bonded over other things. We actually started a band, which was pretty damn good," he said pointedly to Jen, who just rolled her eyes. "And he decided to stay on in Philly to graduate. We went to the same college, went down the shore every summer to work the charters until he bought himself a boat of his own." He was still talking, but Joey had only been half listening since hearing that not only had Pacey absconded, but that he was in a band as well.

"Jo?" Jen questioned, watching her friends demeanor change. It's almost as if she could see the things were running through her head. Why did he leave? Was it because of her, or at least in part because of her? Did she cause some ridiculous upheaval that shifted the lives of everyone because she was foolish enough to believe what Andie had told her? She found the more she listened to Drue talk, the more the room seemed to spin, and no matter how hard she concentrated, the words sounded more and more foreign. "Joey?" She repeated, louder and more firmly.

"Yeah, Jen…" Their eyes met, Jen could see Joey trying to bite back the tears, she would never allow herself to cry in front of Drue or Audrey, but the fact she was this close spoke volumes to Jen.

"Come on," she got up from the table and led Joey out back, where Rosie was lounging in the sun. "I don't think you've yet had the privilege, Miss Potter." Craning her neck, she small white and tan bundle of wrinkles saw Jen and rolled onto her back.

"Why hello Rosie," Joey cooed rubbing the belly of Pacey's dog.

"Sucker." Jen chided. "She'll literally be eating out of your hand before you know it. She loves you. Just like Daddy, huh RoRo?" Joey's eyebrow raised, remembering why they had stepped outside in the first place.

"Jen, please, don't patronize me. You came out here to soften me up by allowing me the company of this adorable puppy, to make me tell you what's going on in my head, but honestly, Lindley, I don't even know where to start!" Sighing, she sat down on the chaise, Rosie clambering at her feet until Joey picked her up and sat her on her lap.

"And that, my dear Josephine, is why we've retreated to the patio. I'm not planning on giving you too many answers, it's not my place, but hopefully I can point you in the direction."

"Is that compass needle going to land directly at Pacey Witter's feet?" At the mention of her owner's name, Rosie whimpered, looking all around for him. Joey instantly felt guilty all over again. "Oh no baby, I'm sorry," Joey soothed as Jen rolled her eyes.

"I can't wait until Dawson finds his own place, or leaves again." Catching Joey's confused look, Jen continued. "Pacey and Drue are roommates, Dawson is crashing on their couch and is allergic, ergo, and puppy custody fell to Gretchen and me. When Drue is here, which is most always, so is Rosie." Joey nodded, scratching Rosie behind her ears, trying to lull her back to sleep.

"So, your omnipotence, point away."

"Jo, Pacey was in a really bad way after you left. You stopped calling, you stopped writing, and to Pacey, you were the only one who mattered, and you stopped caring," she held up her hand to stop her friend from interrupting. "And now we know why, but we didn't then, we just thought you had to go back and it would just be too hard to keep up the pretense anymore. It hurt a lot, a fuck lot Jo. I was pissed but Pace, he was devastated. Yes, he started dating Andie, no, it did not last. He found her in a rather compromising situation with Will Krudski, for him it was the nail in the coffin. He started drinking, missing school, and he had done so much to get ahead, you know? It was so sad. Then one day he stopped said he was leaving, and he'd see me again in summer. I didn't know where he went, or why, not until he and Drue came back that first year. And they only stayed a week, they were going on tour. Drue wasn't kidding when he said their band 'wasn't bad'. They played Warped Tour that summer, and the following one." It was then that it struck her, the faintest glimmer of recognition twinkled behind her eyes.

"Damn it, Jack!" Doug bellowed, the timbre of his voice causing even Pacey to wince. "You know, I can understand doing whatever's in your power to help your sibling, especially if they're already teetering on the brink of a psychotic break, but I can't for the life of me understand why you wouldn't rectify it after said break."

"I have no respite. There is nothing I can say or do that can take back the past. Was it stupid, malicious even, yes? It was. And for it, you will never know how sorry I am. I saw what happened to you Pace, at that point I couldn't tell you it was all for naught. You were so broken, and I don't know, I thought maybe knowing the whole truth would have made things that much worse. You pulled yourself up, turned all that pain and aggression into something tangible, which most people can't say about their grief." Pacey's derisive snort changed Jack's tune once again. "Pacey, I am so, so, so sorry. When I saw Joey earlier this year I knew this would come out. She was understanding, though thoroughly pissed, that girl has a right hook you do not want to be on the receiving end of. But she told me that for you, and Jen, she would try and move past it, and only once you knew." Pacey's heart clenched despite himself, she was willing to forgive Jack, to put the past behind them, even if she hadn't stumbled upon at his bar. She would have found him anyway. Placing his hand on Jack's shoulder, he nodded.

"This does not mean this is over. I am….beyond pissed off, still, and I'm pretty I plan on holding on to it for the foreseeable future, but I really have somewhere else I need to be. And you have another heavy conversation ahead of you. I'll call you later Dougie." Warmly embracing his brother as he moved to leave, Pacey knew what he had to do next.

"Try Jens…" he heard as he closed the door behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Ugh, so sorry it took so long. The holidays kicked my ass this year. As usual, I do know own the characters, I am simply borrowing them. Also, reviews are love :) Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read!**

"Did you know the moment you saw her again?" Audrey asked from behind him. He had been transfixed by the sight before him, standing at the back door longer than he should have, his heart had skipped too many beats and lungs forgot too many breathes to go out immediately. His dog snuggled up in the lap of the only girl who had ever held his heart, he could practically taste his future. But that was the thing about Pacey Witter. He was not a dreamer. Nor was he a romantic. As it was, he kept most people an arm's length away, very few near his heart. It was too fragile and mishandled from the past, and while he could wear it on his sleeve to the ones he knew well and loved, for the most part, it was exceptionally well protected from would-be infiltrators. Audrey tried. She tried harder than anyone else to penetrate those defenses, but she knew it was a losing battle, even from day one. "Pacey?" she questioned louder. Broken from his reverie, he turned to look at her.

"Sorry Aud, I was just kinda…lost for a minute there. What can I do you for?" He turned to face her, wanting nothing more than to turn back and stare out the window a few moments more.

"I asked if you knew the moment you saw her, but then I realized you didn't even know who she was when you first saw her again. I mean, how could I think everything would change for you that rapidly. I've known you for years now, I've seen how you deal with relationships."

"What relationships? I don't seem to recall being in any…"

"My point exactly. I tried for how long to get us past casual? And what, Joey comes back and bam, you're suddenly interested in dating? I don't think so." She was merely inches away from him at this point, her body trying to convey exactly what she wanted from Pacey as she arched herself nearer to his slowly retreating form. He hit the glass of the back door with a light thud causing Joey to turn and look. What she saw was Audrey advancing on Pacey and what looked like, his arms around her. Trying to remove Rosie, quietly, without rousing her was a difficult task though she managed to do it without drawing attention. As she drew nearer the door she could see better, and hear what was being said. Pacey's arms that looked like they had been wrapped around Audrey were merely distancing her from him. His hands laid squarely on her shoulders having stopped her unprovoked advance on him.

"Listen, Liddell, we had some fun. And I won't deny that I care about you, I do, and it didn't take Joey coming back to make me realize that it was just as a friend. We used each other long enough, it'd been over for longer than we let it go on. And for that I am sorry. Truly." Audrey's cold stare didn't waver from Pacey's as he went on. "And you're right, I didn't know it was Joey when we ran into each other, but I swear to you right then and there I knew it was something different." At Audrey's scoff, coupled with Pacey's wild gesticulation, Joey made her presence known.

"Knew that what was different?" The sun filtered through the purples and blues in Joey's hair, her skin was flush from the sun and all Pacey could do was reach out and pull her to him in a crushing kiss. Realizing, quite a while later that Audrey had stomped off, he released her.

"You. Us. This. Everything's different now, Jo." He whispered feeling her mouth turn upward against his cheek.

"Can we get out of here, Pace? I kinda want whatever happens next to be just between us…" Not knowing exactly what she meant by that, he nodded, letting his lips fall to hers again.

"I have the perfect place Potter. Go grab Rosie and we'll head out."

"My car is here. I'll just follow you."

"I could always bring you back to get your car."

"I know. But I heard enough of what Audrey said that if I see her again tonight, it might just get ugly." She stated matter of factly.

"Possessive much?" He teased. Secretly he loved that she was being so territorial. Maybe she did want this as bad as he did. Maybe if they just laid it all on the line, said everything that needed to be up front, they could take two steps into the future without being sucked back into the muck of the past.

"And where are we exactly?"

"They didn't have yacht clubs near the ocean, Potter?" Her eyes narrowed on him as he took Rosie's leash from her hand and replaced it with his own.

"Of course, we did Witter, they just had real yachts."

"Cheeky girl." He admonished, leading her down through the docks until they reached a section of slips set slightly apart from the rest. Rosie apparently knew exactly where they were heading as she began to pull on her lead, making both Joey and Pacey chuckle.

"She seems to know the answer to the mystery location, care to share with the class?"

"Have you no faith in me Josephine?" He said slowing, as the pier was reaching its end. She glared playfully at him but happened to catch the name on the boat behind him. As the realization dawned on her, Pacey smiled.

"This is your boat, isn't it?"

"THESE!" He said emphatically, raising his hands, and motioning all around them. "These are my boats! Or well, these are mine and Drew's boats. He and I did some charters in college and knew how lucrative it could be, so when I moved home after school, he followed, and we've been in business ever since."

"But this one…" she said pointing to the smallest ship in the fleet. A shy smile graced his face and Joey saw the boy she had known for so long. She rarely second-guessed her feelings and when she did, she tended to trust her renewed interests rather than her original instinct. Pacey made her second guess every single decision she had made in her life since she was seventeen, without even intending to. She was terrified that he might just realize how badly she fucked everything up. In fact, a very large part of her was certain he had come to Jen's to tell her just that and be done with her. But in that moment, the breeze from the lake bristling through his unkempt curls, his eyes shining bright and smile so full of tenderness, she felt her heart melt. Literally for the first time as an adult she knew she could give her heart to someone and know that, while it may get bruised along the way, it would always be safe. She also knew she would be willing to hold his heart with the same affection.

"Yeah, this one is all mine." Pacey's heart was pounding in his chest. Sure he was literally referring to his boat, but standing hand in hand with Joey on the dock, in front of "True Love" something clicked. He was hardly the type who believed in fate or soul mates, but he knew that in that instant, he had declared more than just ownership of his boat. He swallowed hard noticing Joey anxiously worrying her bottom lip. He stepped forward and placed his lips on hers, softly, wanting to reassure her, before he realized it her hand snaked into his hair, pulling him tight to her. She deepened the kiss, savoring the feel of his tongue, his hands, his body pressed against hers, she had no intention of ever letting go. He wasn't sure how long they stood there completely wrapped up in one another, he only knew they broke apart for the mutual need of oxygen and because Rosie had become terribly impatient and was vocalizing her displeasure.

"So," Joey said taking a step back trying to regain her composure. "This is it then, the infamous boat?"

"Excuse me?!" Pacey's voice alight with mock indignation. "I know you didn't call this beautiful lady here an 'it'. I mean, please tell me I heard incorrectly!" Joey rolled her eyes, but couldn't help the smile.

"You seafarers, all the same! It's impossible to discern whether your proclivity for romance has anything to with females, or simply the objects to which you refer with feminine pronouns."

"As you may have overheard in the exchange with Audrey, romance is hardly my forte. Relationships, in general, I have managed to avoid for years now, not necessarily happily but out of necessity, I suppose. And here we are now, literally standing in front of 'True Love' and I can't help but wonder if it's standing in front of me for a change." He reached for her and walked her to the boat, first putting Rosie on the deck and reaching to help her aboard.

"So why 'True Love'?" she asked quietly. She saw his lips purse and quickly amended. "I mean if you don't want to tell me…"

"No," he said shaking his head. He looked at the beautiful woman next to him and knew if wanted a chance of a future with her, he'd have to shed his past. He motioned toward the cabin, grabbed them a beer from the galley and sat down on the bed, Rosie at their feet, Joey by his side. Sighing, he began, finding the courage and perhaps a bit of something else in the depths of her eyes.

Joey listened intently as he told her the intricacies of how he ended up in Philly. Though, in his life, Pacey was used to disappointment and dejection, but heartbreak and abandonment were not in his personal coping catalog. He told her about trying to take solace in Andie, allowing their relationship a chance but how it only ended in humiliation. How it was that moment that forced him to lock his heart away, that was the final break he could handle. He surmised that anymore mishandling at that time would be irreversible, and he wanted to love again at some point in his life. Joey bit the inside of her cheek, trying to hold down the bile and tears that threatened. He spoke pointedly about the alcohol, cocaine, and various other dabblings, he spiraled so far, so fast he didn't even recognize he had needed the help. He conceded to his parents, he had needed a change and while they were hoping to get him to a specialized center, they allowed him the chance to try a school near where Mary's brother Andrew lived. That's when he had met Drue. That's when he realized that music was the best therapy. He could play anything he was feeling, it was tangible, literal, real. He didn't have to repress how much he hurt, he could play it. He animatedly told her how it felt to get in front of a crowd and have them legitimize everything you were trying to express, his eyes twinkled and the nausea Joey had been feeling since he started finally started to abate. He would not be who he is without these experiences, and she wouldn't either. And while Joey dabbled with singing, she could more relate to being the one in the crowd, feeling every note played in her soul, music had become her therapy too, but in a different way.

She felt a shift in herself as he continued talking about his past. The sailing charters, the college years, moving home, all had led them back to each other. Surely it would have hurt less to come back into one another's lives sooner, but would he have been as forgiving? She shook off thoughts of a past that wasn't and forced herself to open up to the possibility of a future. The man Pacey had become still held the warmth and love of the boy she loved, but he had a confidence and presence that completely enraptured her. Listening to him talk was something she was becoming not only used to but dependent on. There was something in the way he spoke that seemed to command the attention of all that were in the room. His eyes were as animated as his hands, enthralling his audience, he unintentionally drew you in deeper with every word. It hadn't taken Joey long to realize that, while his bar was a great place, it was only that way because of one thing. Him. And here he was pouring out his heart, spending every spare minute in her company and she couldn't help but feel just a little unworthy.

"Halfway through freshman year our band had hit one of those 'creative differences' impasses, so we called it quits. That summer Drue and I started working down the shore," he chuckled at himself for the use of the imprinted colloquialism that he refused to use while he actually lived in Philly. "That's when I saw her. This absolute hot mess of a sailboat. So, beat up, battered and hopeless, I bought her. I went with 'True Love' because everything about the experience was that. It was completely selfless and selfish in the same breath, and I don't know, I kind of feel like that's what true love is. Anyway, she gave me a new outlet, anytime my melancholy rose and couldn't be quelled by a night out and a warm body, I went to work on her." He couldn't believe he had said that. It was true, he had tried to use many a warm body to fill the gaping Joey Potter-sized hole in his heart, but no one ever compared. That he wouldn't say out loud. Not yet. His brain was rapid firing things he should be saying to try and cover his slip up, but no words were coming out. Noticing the paranoid expression on his face, her lips quirked into a bemused half-smile.

"Wow, warm bodies huh? Pacey Witter, friend to women indeed." She playfully smacked his shoulder. She noticed his eyes haze over with the unmistakable film of guilt and her heart broke a little more. "Pacey," she said quietly taking his face in her hands. "You have no reason to feel bad about that. Your past makes you. All of it. I won't sit here and let you think you did something wrong when it was me who messed up at every turn. And don't think for one second that I didn't try to seek solace in someone else's arms. Not all of those experiences are bad. It just always seemed to dawn on me that none of those arms I woke up in were yours, and it made them less important. I always knew you'd ruined me for anyone else, I was just so scared. I am so sorry for hurting you, but I am so happy I get to know the man you've become because I have a feeling that boy and girl we were could have destroyed us before we actually knew what it meant to be happy. We wouldn't have this now, and I wouldn't trade it."

Pacey sat pensively, taking her words in, letting their meaning hit his bones and closed the distance between by searing her mouth with a scorching kiss. His hands tangled in her hair keeping her tight to him, her arms snaked around his neck while returning the kiss with fervor. He tried to put everything he was feeling into that kiss, knowing fully it would never do them justice. His heart was pounding, his skin was tingling, even the air around them seemed charged. They lay back on the bed, careful not break contact, their tongues dueling for dominance, hands discovering one another after too many years apart. Neither was sure how long they'd been kissing, they only stopped when Rosie's whining became incessant. They had managed to stay fully clothed, somehow, because all Joey could think about was how much Pacey would just rip off her clothes and have his way with her, it was just this morning that they agreed to take it slow. Fuck that, she thought, she could hold out another week, max. She sat up, hair mussed, swollen lips and breathtaking, Pacey knew right then and there that no matter what had happened, or what might still, that he was not letting this girl go without a fight.

"I suppose someone is hungry or needs to go o-u-t." He mused watching the little dog wiggle as attention was finally being paid to her.

"She's going to be a brute isn't she?" Joey cooed as she picked Rosie up and sat her on her lap.

"I hope so. As long as she doesn't think she's a lapdog when she's fully grown." He chuckled, Joey full out laughed.

"Are you serious? This giant baby is always going to be a lapdog. Being seventy pounds isn't going to change that! Would you seriously try to deny this face if she curled up on your lap?" He melted at their matching pouts.

"Fine, you know I can't refuse those puppy dog eyes. Even though yours…" he was cut off by a sweet kiss from Joey and a sloppy smooch from Rosie. "Alright, I guess it's time to get this gal back to Jens." She sighed sadly, their night was over, but it held such promise she couldn't actually be upset.

"I start work next week," she said quietly as they neared their cars.

"I know, which is why tomorrow morning I'm coming over and making you and Nita breakfast, and we can do whatever needs to be done to the property. Thursday I'll be at the bar but I should be done around 6, we can do dinner after?" She nodded, loving that he had been thinking about this too. "Friday…"

"Friday night Jen and I are coming to the bar, I figured you'd be working and she said the band that was playing was pretty good." She smiled shyly as his grin reached his eyes.

"Stay with me Friday night?"

"You don't even have to ask Pace."


End file.
